The 88th Academy Awards kick off in the wee small hours of Europe's Monday morning, a blinged-out, glitzed-up distraction from... well, much of the same stuff on the Milanese catwalks. Donatella Versace – who, so rumour has it, matches her hair to the Oscars' golden hue (that may be a rumour invented by us just five minutes ago) – often ships a raft of her dresses straight out to Californ-i-a, still warm from the bodies of her catwalk models on Friday night, to ensure celebrities get first dibs. She once said that the red carpet is the new eveningwear catwalk. And if anyone would know, it's Donatella.
Anyway, back to Donatella's hair – because dressing like an Oscar if you're hoping to bag one kind of makes twisted sense. Angelina Jolie's Elie Saab look from 2014 is burnished into many retinas as a Byzantium-via-Bardot way to do Oscar dressing right; a good riposte to, say, Kim Basinger's home-designed (and perhaps home-made) one from 1990.
You often forget what's under the frock on Oscar night – I'm talking shoes, not smalls. Apparently, it's mostly Jimmy Choo when it comes to the former – their Lance stiletto (1 - see gallery above) has been worn more times than any other, clocking up hundreds of appearances, and, apparently, 46.5 miles of rug-cutting.
As that shows, the gown is only the most visible element of an Oscar-worthy outfit – especially in everyday life. After all, the requirements for a bag at the Oscars are few and far between, but not all of us are fortunate enough to have a caddy on standby. Oscar de la Renta's Goa clutch (2), crusted with winning gold, is an award-worthy choice.
Breaking with the "gold rules" rule, I wouldn't mind seeing a celebrity sporting this ruffy, puffy, bow-bedecked number (3) – another by Oscar de la Renta, this time from Peter Copping's sophomore spring show – splashed over several pages come Monday. Or maybe just in my own wardrobe? Because there's always room for more than one Oscar in everyone's lives. Just ask Meryl Streep.
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