Trending: The lady mo' has its moment

Chic moustache features on May's Tatler magazine

A beautiful woman wearing a moustache has a strange hold on the imagination. Witness timeless knockout Christy Turlington sporting an upper-lip decoration on the cover of May's Tatler magazine and look no further than your local high street for hordes of hipsters dressing up as dandies on a hen night.

No doubt about it: hirsute is the new hot. Forget air-hostess costumes, cowgirls and miniskirts; overt sexiness is over in this age of fake tans and The Only Way is Essex. Instead, opt for a pencil-thin smear either side of your philtrum, drawn on with indelible eyeliner and accessorised with a monochrome shirt-and-tuxedo-trousers combo. Stick-on 'taches range from "the conman" to "the roadsweeper", but can be quite cumbersome and have a habit of falling off when you laugh – which you must do a lot. Being po-faced in a fake moustache would just be odd, right?