Festive cooking with attitude: Here's one we made earlier

Christmas is the time of year when hordes of friends and family descend on you, the excuse being that nearly 2,000 years ago some little kid was born, in a stable of all places! It can be a nightmare and cooking for the assembled masses can be the final straw. Our advice is to keep it simple, work out all the timings in advance and try not to get too merry, too soon

It's a time of great stress. Your house is full of people expecting turkey with all the trimmings - what are you going to do with them? Lots of normally competent folk tend to panic over all manner of things like will all the relations get on? Are the presents OK? How can I get it all done in time? And so on

Take Christmas Day itself, the root cause of all the fuss. Lunch or dinner has to be a big event - but what about Christmas Eve, Boxing Day etc?

To give yourself some breathing space, choose easy ideas for the run- up and post-Christmas period. Turkey on Christmas Day is fine, but instead of spending hours in the kitchen making the Christmas pudding, choose a really excellent quality brand like Waitrose Select Christmas pudding flavoured with Gran Marnier, cider & brandy (pounds 4.99, 454g) or Tesco Connoisseur range - Cognac & rum (pounds 4.99 for 454g size). They are fully-loaded with fruit, nuts and alcohol, although we still cannot resist the temptation to nosh them up with extra liqueur or Cognac. In addition, they are perfect for heating in a microwave oven - so you get results in a matter of minutes, not hours.

Tesco also has come up trumps with some great tasting alternatives to the traditional turkey by Fairgame which cook in a fraction of the time. Boneless, stuffed partridge, quail and guinea fowl (stuffed with pistachio & raisin, Carmague red rice with apricot, and apple & apricot respectively). We're not normally fans of overly-fruited, sweet stuffings but these were well-executed, especially the guinea fowl, which was Mick's favourite. Remember, the small birds - two in each pack - won't take longer than 20 minutes or so in the oven and they won't break the budget.

A final tip? Keep a supply of two-inch wide adhesive carpet tape handy. It's ideal for restraining obnoxious children, overly-refreshed belligerent relatives, or quieting noisy grannies.

Essential life-savers

Connoisseur Cognac & rum pudding pounds 4.99 (Tesco)

Select Gran Marnier pudding pounds 4.99 (Waitrose)

Boneless stuffed partridge pounds 4.99 (Fairgame at Tesco)

Boneless stuffed quail pounds 3.49 (Fairgame at Tesco)

Boneless stuffed guinea fowl pounds 5.99 (Fairgame at Tesco)

"Winter Nosh", The Nosh Brothers new television series, will be transmitted on Carlton Food Network from 8 January '98.