Film: Recorded Delivery

Con Air (15) Buena Vista, rental, 2 Dec

Nicholas Cage is deliciously over-the-top as Wolf -from-Gladiators lookalike Cameron Poe, a war hero who accidentally kills a civilian and finds himself imprisoned for manslaughter. Paroled after eight years, he is duly sent home on a plane bulging with the nation's most deadly criminals. Led by John Malkovich as "Cyrus the Virus", this motley bunch of madmen stage a takeover. Poe, honourable to the last, finds that he is the single person standing between a bunch of sociopaths and all their potential victims. The most thrilling of thrillers, made perfect by its taste for the absurd. HHHH

Batman and Robin (PG) Warner, rental, 1 Dec

A far cry from his brooding skeletons-in-the-closet predecessors, George Clooney's Caped Crusader is a well-adjusted and social creature whose nocturnal pursuit of beastly megalomaniacs Mr Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) seems motivated by a keenness to escape his simpering girlfriend and get back to the cellar to play goodies and baddies with Robin. The endless close-ups of rubber-clad buttocks, heaving bosoms and leather codpieces will earn this moronic Bat-flick nothing better than a place at the top of the smut list. H

Idiot Box (18) High Fliers, rental, 3 Dec

Mick and Kev are nervy suburban loafers who get their kicks from playing air guitar, stealing charity boxes and setting off car alarms. Kev has also mastered the art of smoking a fag and watching the TV whilst simultaneously having sex with his girlfriend (eliciting the grand response "I've had a longer piss than that!"). To relieve the beer-soaked boredom, they plan a small-time heist. An absorbingly ugly film with a caustic style which is at its best when recording the seedy habits of its heroes. HHH

Dangerous Ground (18) Entertainment, rental, 1 Dec

In this absurd film, Ice Cube plays an academic who goes to his native South Africa in search of his brother, aided by a drug-crazed harlot (Elizabeth Hurley) with a very strange accent. To be avoided at all costs. H

HHHH excellent HHH good HH average H poor