The Drinks Column: In praise of tea snobbery

I have never been a tea snob – which is why I relate to that scene from Mona Lisa:

Hotel waiter: "What would you like?"

George: "Tea."

Hotel waiter: "Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong?"

George: "No – tea."

Yet I still dream of summer afternoons on the lawn, when everything stopped for tea. "It's the only simple pleasure we have left," according to Oscar Wilde. And about so much more than thirst.

Nana Johnson had one simple solution to every problem – put the kettle on. It's something artist Bryan Mulvihill will be exploring at his World Tea Party at The Horniman Museum next month. Mulvihill describes the party as "social installation art – and a celebration of the diversity of cultures linked together by the humble act of drinking tea." Probably best to bring your own biscuits.

Of course, we Britons aren't the only ones to love our tea. Over the last 2,000 years, it has spread around the world to become the most common human beverage, after water, with 4.6 billion cups consumed every day. But only the Japanese have a proper tea ceremony, where each hand movement is prescribed – and every ritual learned by heart.

If we're going to be pernickety about this, it's not actually the Japanese "tea ceremony" – it's the Japanese "art of tea". It's about aesthetics. From the shape of the pot to the smell of the incense, the discipline is as strict as a martial art. Though not as useful come closing time in south London. The ceremony is held behind a door that is only 36in high. So everyone has to bow their heads and crouch to get in. The idea being that everyone is equal in tea, irrespective of their status or social position. Thirteen individual items are then used in the ceremony – from a silk cloth, which represents the spirit of the host, to fresh cedar chopsticks. Each is considered a sacred objet d'art.

The Japanese ceremony isn't just about formality and the discussion of calligraphy techniques. Like all tea rituals, it's about appreciation of a shared moment, and a chance to enjoy the company of others away from normal life. Which isn't so different from what Nana Johnson used to do. She shared the-cup-that-cheers at the very best, and worst, of times, but it was still about collective meditation.

One day a monk came to see his master. "Have you been here before?" asked the master. "Yes" replied the monk. The master said, "Have some tea." Another monk came by. "Have you been here before?" asked the Master. "No" replied the monk. The Master said, "Have some tea." The Master's pupil was confused. "Why did you say, 'Have some tea' to a monk who has achieved insight and then say, 'Have some tea' to a monk who is still blind in Dharma?" The master said, "Have a cup of tea."

Tea is vital in society. Even if we're orbiting the earth in a cramped space station. If a plan by Japan's space agency comes to fruition, astronauts will one day spend their spare time learning the rituals of the Japanese tea ceremony. They are hoping to turn a space measuring 13ft sq on the new £67bn International Space Station into a tea room. I'm sure that Nana Johnson would approve.

World Tea Party is at The Horniman Museum, 100 London Rd, London SE23 (020-8699 1872), 3-5pm, Sunday 21 July.