Charlotte Philby's Parental Leave: 'My partner is undervaluing our daughter's emotional prowess'

A mother's weekly dispatch from the pre-school frontline

"What are your ears for?" the four-year-old asks. We're taking a moment on the bench next to our local pond, absent-mindedly watching a couple of swans fight over a bag of Wotsits.

"Your ears are for hearing," I reply. "What else?" she asks. I think for a moment: "Well, that's it". She scoffs, reaching for another fistful of raisins: "That's naughty – your hands can do so many things!" It is primary admissions results day, except for reasons unexplained, our local council has decided not to make their announcement until "some time after 5pm".

Which gives me a few more hours in which to weigh up the odds of my child being terminally scarred by her forthcoming educational experience; a concern my partner dismisses as yet another sign of my burgeoning neurosis, claiming kids don't care as long as they have space and a couple of friends.

But he is clearly undervaluing her emotional prowess and besides, he didn't go to school in London. I did, and my state options came down to two choices: 1) the school where the head teacher summoned me and my mum into her office during Open Day to make us swear I would never be sent there (I'm still not sure if she was concerned about or on behalf of me), or 2) the local boys' comp.

Nevertheless, I want her to feel she can open up to me: "So how do you feel about going to school?" I press on. She pauses for a moment, then looks up: "When I'm bigger I'm going to have a pub called Window Pindows but it's only going to sell puddings, and you know when we play pirates I will be the captain and daddy can be my mate and you can be the parrot!"

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