Mephedrone: 'I feel dizzy and suicidal when the buzz wears off'

The user's story: 'I want to stop taking it, but it is an addiction, once it grabs you it won't let go'

I started taking "bubble" shortly after my 17th birthday last September. I had previously been smoking cannabis and dabbling with cocaine at the weekends.

Then a friend introduced me to mephedrone and I have been taking it nearly every weekend since.

The last time I took it was on Sunday evening. A group of us got together on Thursday and had a session until Sunday night. We had bought five or six grams and it cost £60. If that had been cocaine it would have been nearer to £200.

I usually take a line every half hour or so. The buzz doesn't last too long but when you are high it is similar to ecstasy in that it makes you want to dance. Your heart is going 10 to the dozen and you are bouncing off the walls.

But when it wears off it is awful. It can make me feel suicidal and sometimes even days after I have taken it I feel really low. I am constantly dizzy and I have started to feel like I'm not there, like I don't exist in this world.

My appetite is gone too. I used to eat for England and now I hardly eat. If I get hungry I'll have a bag of crisps and then I'm full.

I want to stop doing it but it's an addiction. Once it grabs you it won't let go. I can't remember the last weekend I didn't take it.

There doesn't seem to be any research around mephedrone, so I don't really know what I'm taking. The fact that it is legal isn't really an issue because, even though it is not against the law, I know that stuffing stuff up your nose is wrong. Then again, making it illegal would put the price up so it might stop me taking so much.

I'm having treatment because I worry about losing my family – my sisters have said they don't want to know me while I'm taking drugs.

The writer is a mephedrone user who is being treated for her addiction in an Addaction treatment centre in Preston, Lancashire