Transgender father of two who had first child as a woman explains difference between pregnancies

'Nothing about my first pregnancy felt hopeful or within my control'

Rachel Hosie@rachel_hosie
Friday 22 December 2017 13:15
Trans man who gave birth to baby describes uncertainty of journey

A transgender man who recently gave birth to his second child after having his first baby while presenting as a woman five years earlier has spoken out about the differences between his pregnancies.

Speaking to the Victoria Derbyshire Show, Kaci Sullivan from Missouri explained why his second pregnancy was so much more enjoyable than his first.

“They were very different experiences, for sure,” he said. “Nothing about my first pregnancy felt hopeful or within my control. My body didn’t look anything like I wanted it to.

“I was still wrestling with the fact that that was my reality. I hadn’t told anybody, I didn’t know if I ever would. I was so depressed, I didn’t know if I’d be able to bond with the baby once I had them.

“I was so terrified: What’s my life going to look like? What’s this baby’s life going to look like?

Sullivan at 37 weeks pregnant

“The pregnancy itself was sort of an ‘oopsie’ pregnancy; I wasn’t trying for it. I didn’t mean it to happen.

“The way I thought about myself and perceived myself was so different. I’ve changed a lot in the last five-and-a-half years.”

30-year-old Sullivan explained how he’d hoped becoming pregnant the first time would make him feel more connected to womanhood, but it didn’t.

But during his second pregnancy, as a man, there was none of the anxiousness he’d felt the first time.

“I wasn’t trying to turn it into something it could never be. This time I was trying to make it work for my own expectations, at least a lot more things were in my control. It was an experience I was emotionally prepared for this time,” he said.

Sullivan is believed to be the first person in the world to give birth living as both a woman and a man.

In giving birth to his new baby, Phoenix - a healthy child weighing 8lbs 9oz - Sullivan underwent a C-section after seven days in labour.

Phoenix was conceived with Sullivan’s partner Steven, 27, after Sullivan took a break from male hormones.

The birth comes four years after the business student started his transition from female to male.

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