HOW TO WEAR HIGH HEELS

A pencil skirt - and practise makes perfect, says Lily Savage

High heels have to fit: I've seen people with feet like Quavers from forcing them into ill-fitting shoes. I have mine made in soft kid and reinforced with a steel bar between heel and sole - so there's none of this wobble nonsense. You must wear tights with heels - bare legs are the mark of a slapper. Marlene Dietrich used to wear a beige shoe and tights to match, which makes your legs look long. I'm like a giraffe already and wouldn't be seen dead in beige, but tights are important. I buy "danskin shimmer" which are a dancer's support tight with a sheen. Then, with a pair of "nearly black" tights on top, you've got a fabulous pair of legs. It's got to be nearly black; black is too divorcee-looking. If you're wearing heels for the first time, practise round the house. Put on a pencil skirt to restrict your movements - you're not meant to take huge strides in heels, you're meant to slink into the room slowly.

If you are about to sit on a low-slung couch, grab hold of something, because there is a tendency for your feet to shoot out from underneath you. Stilettos damage wooden floors - so you can't go to places like the ICA. But who wants to watch performance artists? Our pavements are a death trap for a woman in a stiletto. Then again, you shouldn't be walking the streets - you should be in a cab on the way to a nice supper with a gentleman. You've got to look after your feet if you wear heels. I recommend regular visits to the chiropodist and peppermint footbalm from the Body Shop.

Lily Savage is touring in `Prisoner Cell Block H' from 10 March