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Husband doesn’t clean dirty dishes and leaves note for wife instead

‘That’s expected of him, not something nice,’ one person said

Brittany Miller
New York
Wednesday 17 January 2024 19:00 GMT
Related: Wife teaches dog how to ‘speak’ to boss husband around

A common fight among couples comes from doing the dishes whether that be over who is responsible for doing them or if the dishes should soak or not.

Susan Lehman took to TikTok to show a mess that her husband had left in their kitchen sink. “My husband had people over for a big game last night,” her video started out. She then zoomed in on the pile of various dishes and pots that were left in the sink.

“Look at all these freaking dishes in the sink,” she said. The camera pans over to a sticky note on the counter that reads, “I got it” as it points to the pile of dishes in the sink.

“What a good guy,” she said in the clip. “I just love that he acknowledges that he left a mess in the sink, and don’t worry, he’ll take responsibility for it.”

“We’ve come so far,” she added.

“Leaving a simple note instantly made me not care about the dishes in the sink!! I love communication and we have come so far!!” Lehman captioned the TikTok.

After the clip was posted it went on to receive over three million views. Some commenters applauded the communication that went into the gesture.

“I love this communication. He was too tired to do it after a fun ‘party’ but knew that if he didn’t do it, you would’ve been annoyed :)” one comment read.

Another commenter agreed, writing, “It’s not about the fact he’s going to do it eventually. It’s about him letting her know through healthy communication in order to make her feel relieved.”

“It’s that easy!!! Like do I want to do the dishes after hosting? Heck no. Let me sleep and I’ll do it in the morning. But the note changes it ALL,” a third commenter praised Lehman’s husband.

However, a lot of people felt he was only being praised for doing the bare minimum. “Wow man child cleaned up his own mess. Everyone clap,” one commenter wrote.

“That’s expected of him, not something nice btw,” another comment pointed out.

In an interview with Today, Lehman revealed that she and her husband, Matt, have been together for the last 25 years and he was not always the type of guy that left notes like the one she highlighted on TikTok.

“After we got married, we definitely fell into these very cliche roles, where I did the cleaning and he did the man things, and for a long time that arrangement worked,” she told the outlet.

“And then one day I was like, ‘You know what? Other people can help me in this house.’”

Despite her feelings toward Matt’s behaviour, she clarified that they “both needed to change”.

After several “difficult” conversations, Lehman said Matt began making dinner for the family and he now does laundry without being asked.

“Matt and I are high school sweethearts but it feels like a new relationship,” she said. “The old me would have freaked out over the dishes and I would have probably woken him up – but the old Matt wouldn’t have left a note, either.”

She then gave the outlet an update that he did end up doing the dishes he left in the sink.

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