International Day of Happiness: 9 experts on the secrets to true happiness

You hold the key to making yourself happy

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Happiness isn’t the enigma we’ve been led to assume it is.

Believe it or not, we are all capable of achieving happiness sooner rather than later.

Tuesday marks the International Day of Happiness, a day on which people all over the world will be taking an introspective look at their lives and pondering over what makes them happy.

Whether it’s the little things like going for a regular morning jog or the big things like telling someone that you love them, you hold the key to attaining true prosperity in all areas of your life.

We spoke to the experts on the secrets to reaching a state of true happiness, and what they had to say has the potential to transform your life for the better.

Identify happiness

One of the first things that you have to consider when striving to achieve happiness is figuring out what the concept of happiness means to you.

Happiness doesn’t have to involve being chirpy and cheerful all the time. It covers a whole range of emotions, both positive and negative, that are equally important for your emotional wellbeing.

“Don’t focus on ‘happiness’. Most of us won’t ever feel constantly ‘happy’ in the way that we are traditionally sold the idea - rather, chase ‘wholeness’,” says Laura Jane Williams, author of Ice Cream for Breakfast.

“Wholeness is knowing that life is a million shades of grey - contentedness, sadness, ecstasy, melancholy - and that they all count. All of our emotions matter, not just the ‘good’ ones.”

Williams explained how one should picture happiness as a string of fairy lights, as opposed to a torch with a single light bulb.

“If a torch, your one source of light, goes out, you can’t see,” she says. “But if a fairy light goes out there are still many other fairy lights twinkling.

“If you decide one thing and one thing only will make you happy, you’re screwed if it doesn’t happen. Spread your joy out.”

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Make connections

While knowing how to enjoy your own company is a valuable skill, cherishing human connection is a vital component to a happy life.

“Connect. Loneliness is as potent to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day - humans are built for connection and community,” says Williams.

Dr Juliet Wakefield is a social psychologist working at Nottingham Trent University whose research delves into the impact of social groups.

“We are living in an era where we can connect to anyone in the world at the click of a button, yet loneliness and social isolation are rife,” Dr Wakefield says.

“Health professionals tell us constantly about the importance of diet and exercise for our wellbeing, but frequently neglect the key role that social relationships play in allowing us to live happy, fulfilling lives.”

Meik Wiking, CEO of The Happiness Research Institute in Denmark, has devised a unique way of connecting with his neighbours.

“I have created a small mini library in my stairway - it holds about 20 books now since other neighbours have added to it,” he explains.

“It makes the stairway more homely, it is fun to watch which books get picked up and it encourages interaction between the neighbours.”

Take a break

It can sometimes seem like your life is moving at a rapid pace that you just can’t keep up with.

That’s why taking a moment to pause every once in a while can do you a whole world of good.

“With constant distractions, blurred work and life boundaries and endless to-do lists, it can be difficult to know how to maintain your sanity when everything is in flux,” says Samantha Clarke, happiness consultant and changemaker who is currently working with Drinkfinity to encourage people to live more fluidly.

“Individuals that take the time to pause daily start to gain a real understanding of the values that anchor them, become more attuned to what makes them happy and can lean away from the things that zap their energy.”

One thing that you can do while taking a moment to pause during your busy day is to reassess your personal values and become more self-aware.

“You might discover in your pause time that you really value creativity, or making a difference, or freedom and flexibility and you just aren’t getting enough of it,” Clarke says.

“Putting your values into action on a consistent basis is key to happiness.”

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Exercise

It should come as no surprise that exercising can do wonders for elevating your mood.

However, many people don’t take advantage of this, focusing instead on the physical impact of working out.

“People usually only want to exercise for the benefits of changing the way they look and their physical health,” says nutritionist Farah Fonseca, twice named England’s Strongest Woman.

“However, exercise can be fabulous for your mental health and happiness as well.

“Exercise builds more than muscle - it also boosts self-confidence, mental agility and a ‘can-do’ attitude.”

You need to figure out what form of exercise personally suits you best, whether you enjoy lifting weights or prefer spinning.

"Exercise really does make all the difference to how we feel,” Fonseca says.

"If you're keen to increase your activeness for the first time, there are some fantastic entry-level classes and events across the UK that aim to make fitness fun, such as Project Awesome (an unashamedly inclusive, loud, proud, high-energy free fitness initiative) or The Color Run UK (known as 'the happiest 5K on the planet')," says Danny Bent, founder of Project Awesome.

Focus on yourself

We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others, which inevitably fosters feelings of ineptitude and low self-esteem.

“Taking self-responsibility for your happiness is not about being selfish or self-consumed - it’s about being self-focused,” says David James Lees, ordained Taoist monk and co-founder of Wu Wei Wisdom.

Often people fall into the trap of constantly comparing, criticising or being judgemental about themselves or other people, both in their personal life and career.

“The Taoists teach that this ‘takes your eyes off your authentic path’ and will move you away from a state of ‘flow’, where you are your most at ease, creative, productive, expansive and vibrant.

“When you stop blaming other people, situations or past events for your unhappiness you immediately begin to retake control of your destiny.

“A mantra I teach my clients is: ‘What other people think of me is none of my business’.

“Once you stop caring about what other people think about you this will transform your life.”

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Help others

Lending a helping hand to someone in need or simply acting in a more thoughtful manner will create a positive atmosphere that all can benefit from, whether you’re the giver or the receiver.

“Helping people is the easiest way to make yourself feel great,” says Bent.

Doing things such as holding a door open for someone or buying someone a cup of coffee can go a long way.

“By doing something even small for someone you might just improve their day, they hopefully will thank you and you never know, it might just make them smile,” Bent says.

“With that thanks or that smile you can go away with a warmth in your heart that you’ve achieved something a little lovely in your day.”

You never know how much of an impact a small act of kindness can do.

Giving up your seat for a stranger on the bus or offering to help someone with directions could mean the world to the right person. Never underestimate the power of kindness!

Find the silver lining

No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter how dire it may seem, a silver lining can always be found.

Missing out on your dream job could lead to another one coming up that’s even more perfect for you, or being dumped could give you the push you needed to finally travel the world.

Every experience is a lesson in disguise, and realising that is extremely liberating.

“Whatever is happening in your life or around you, you can always find a tiny slither of positivity within it,” says Bent.

“We all have moments where we feel down in the grumps because of a particular incident that’s happening.

“I’m going to challenge you to find the positivity within this situation.”

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Take a moment now to recall a moment when you believed all was lost and then have a think about the good that came out of it.

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Go outside

Enjoying the great outdoors has a number of proven benefits, including improving your self-esteem.

However, it’s also a great way to reconnect with your body and mind as well as other people.

“When we get outside we tend to be healthier and happier - we’re more connected with ourselves, our world and with loved ones and friends,” says Belinda Dixon, outdoors blogger and Ordnance Survey GetOutside Champion.

“We’re often with people who matter to us. And because there are fewer other distractions, we’re engaging with them more.

“Being surrounded by sky or sea reminds us we’re alive.”

Venturing outside also encourages people to take on challenges that they otherwise may never consider trying.

“Happiness can come from doing something a little scary,” explains Dixon.

“I’m a keen but relatively inexperienced climber, wild camper and sea swimmer and those things make me whoop and grin, even if only afterwards!

“You see it in photos of people outdoors. They’re natural, not overly-posed, there’s the joy of feeling alive in the moment, with those people, in that space.”

Smile

One of the most obvious tips for finding happiness and also one of the most effective is to smile.

Not only can smiling lower your stress levels and have a positive effect overall health, but it’s also a powerful tool that you can use to connect with others.

“Smiling is one of the very few gestures which means the same thing all around the globe,” says Susannah Schaefer, CEO of international children’s charity Smile Train.

“A smile suggests that you are approachable, personable, and trustworthy. In fact, smiling connotes positivity in general.

“People are more likely to engage socially with someone they perceive to be friendly, and a smile is the perfect way to demonstrate this.”

Many people often refrain from smiling at others over fears that they’ll be perceived as being strange or overly friendly.

However, you’d be surprised at the positive reception you could receive from a slight change in expression.

As the cast of Annie would say, “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile."