Iskra Lawrence opens up about posing in lingerie as a mother: ‘Would my child resent me?’

‘Can I even do this? I’m a mother now’

(Getty Images for Aerie)

Body-positive activist Iskra Lawrence has opened up about motherhood and an incident where it had a big impact on her lingerie-modelling career.

On 22 February, Lawrence, 31, shared her personal essay about how she’s become more confident in herself as a new mother with Today. She welcomed her son in April 2020 with her partner, Phillip Payne.

In this piece, Lawrence recalled how six months after she’d given birth, she was feeling a lack of confidence, as Aerie had told her that they did not want to renew her modelling contract.

“I felt lost — not just in relation to what I would do to continue supporting my family, but also in terms of who I was,” she said. “I wasn’t modelling or travelling to events to speak about body acceptance.”

Lawrence then decided to try and go back to who she was before, which was a “body-confident lingerie model.” However, she was unsure of whether this was the kind of career she wanted to have anymore.

“I started looking at my body and wondering if I felt confident enough,” she wrote. “Then another thought dawned on me: Can I even do this? I’m a mother now.”

“What would people think?” she added. “Would my child resent me posting lingerie pics in 10 years? What about my family-friendly neighbourhood — will I embarrass myself if they all see me in my undies?”

Although she spent the last 18 years posing in swimsuits and underwear, she never felt this “immense pressure before.” And now that she was a mother, she suddenly felt “unnatural” and “uncomfortable” posting pictures in lingerie.

“I thought, ‘You’re a mother now. You’ll look desperate for attention and validation — it’s just not a good look,’” she continued.

However, at the time, she didn’t let these fears stop her from gaining her confidence as a mother and model back.

“I wanted to rediscover the part of me that wouldn’t give a damn about parading around in my panties, or anyone’s opinions of me,” she explained. “Wearing outfits that I love was a way to express that yes, I’m a mom now, but I’m still the stylish woman who used to stomp down runways.”

With that in mind, Lawrence decided to “say yes to some sexy lingerie” and shared that on social media.

“I found some good lighting and took some fire selfies and posted them,” she continued. “Comment after comment flooded in from mothers who related to feeling like they had to switch off their sexuality or tone down what they wore after having a baby.”

In response to those mothers, and to all parents everywhere, Lawrence wants them to know that they are the same people they were before they ever had their children.

“Maybe you’ll never post a selfie at all — let alone in your undies — but you could, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say,” she said. “You are the sum of all your parts, and even if some feel forgotten, left behind or unrecognisable now, they always live on.”