Stay up to date with notifications from The Independent

Notifications can be managed in browser preferences.

The Independent's journalism is supported by our readers. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission.

Woman shares the honest reason why you shouldn’t accept late invitations

‘They had no intention including you in the original plan,’ woman says on TiKTok

Amber Raiken
New York
Wednesday 28 February 2024 18:43 GMT
Related: Seven simple yet INSANELY FUN party games for a memorable friends’ night

A woman has shared a candid reason why you shouldn’t accept invitations to events when receiving them late.

On her TikTok account, astar4real, a woman named Esther frequently shares videos with “relatable messages”. In one recent clip, she gave her advice about attending friends’ events, telling her viewers: “If you weren’t invited, don’t go!”

She went on to note that “if none of your friends told you” about the plans, “don’t ask” if you can go. Esther then shared what she thinks it means if you were invited to an event at the last minute.

“If you got a late invite, respectfully decline!” she explained. “Yeah, they uh... they had no intention including you in the original plan. Yeah.”

The short clip has quickly gone viral on TikTok, with more than six million views, as of 28 February. In the comments, many people agreed with Esther’s advice, while also explaining how they’d respond to being invited to an event at the last minute.

“Then quietly remove yourself from that environment and/or circle of friends,” one wrote.

“100 per cent,” another wrote. “Do not beg people to allow you into their lives... make them prove they’re worthy enough to be in yours.”

“This, don’t push yourself on people that clearly don’t want you around,” a third added.

Other people went on to share experiences where they received a late invite but decided not to go. They also described situations where their friends were invited to something and they weren’t.

“I was invited to a family wedding and found out that everyone else had gotten the save the dates several months earlier. I declined,” one wrote.

“A ‘friend’ invited everyone to a BBQ except me. My ‘bff’ asked me if she could ask her if I could go too. No ma’am!! I clearly wasn’t invited,” another added.

However, many people confessed that it hasn’t been easy to be in situations when they’re the last to be invited.

“It’s so painful to constantly have people make plans around you,” one wrote, while another agreed: “Yeah I get that, but it still hurts when friends include others but not you.”

The Independent has contacted Esther for comment.

This isn’t the first time that there’s been an online debate about sending out late invitations. In April 2022, a parent on Mumsnet sparked a debate after revealing that they got a “rude” invitation to their cousin’s wedding via a text message, two weeks before the ceremony. In the initial post, the guest noted that while they’re not close to their cousin, they still saw “each other a few times a year”, so the invitation didn’t feel “genuine”.

In response, some people agreed that the bride’s invitation didn’t appear to be sincere, while others claimed it was strange that she sent it two weeks before the wedding. However, some users felt like the wedding invitation wasn’t rude, and claimed that the bride didn’t want her cousin to feel pressured into attending the event.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies


Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in