Ligger's Guide

Frankly, my dear, some people don't give a damn about Gone with the Wind (starring Vivien Leigh, below). These sad folk will not be angling to attend the Gone with the Wind costume ball at the Great Conservatory, Syon Park, Brentford on 7 July, no . . . not even if promised the Burning of Brentford and all they'll ever need to know about birthin' babies. Well, fiddle-di-dee to them. A true ligger seizes every chance to play dress-up; if you manage to get in for free, why not splurge on something low-cut, nipped-in and billowing (and that's just the men). Those eager to play Rhett to my Mammy (the true Southern heroine) should pester the lovely Tara - yes, Tara - at Barlow Cook Associates, in charge of overseeing GWTW's lavish retail video launch. Be there or be a carpetbagger.

Those of a less romantic and more radical hue should get their buns down to Old Compton St, Soho to witness one of the campest events of the gay calendar (camper than a Gone with the Wind costume ball?). Come 23 June, from 7am-12 noon, Channel 4 start shooting Homo Economics in a flurry of 40,000 specially printed pink pounds. There's also a real-life Statue of Liberty, a Fifties Cadillac and a hunk and hunkette for trendoids to play with during those tedious breaks in filming, darling.

There's no point to this except getting your face on camera, which, if you're a ligger, is precisely the point. So while you're busily engaged in stuffing pink pounds down the hunk's posing pouch, don't forget to wave to Mum.

(Photograph omitted)