Three ways to feel more body confident when dating, according to BodyPosiPanda

Question everything society tells you

Learning to love your body is no walk in the park.

We live in a world where thinness is equated with value and from a young age, we’re taught that fat is unattractive, which obviously affects our attitudes to relationships and dating.

But this notion that thinner is better is, slowly, changing as the body positivity movement gains speed.

And one of the women spearheading this movement is Megan Crabbe, who has over a million people following her BodyPosiPanda Instagram account.

This week on The Independent’s Millennial Love podcast, Crabbe revealed her three top tips for loving your body and being more confident in your own skin while dating.

1. Touch your body with kindness

Learn to appreciate the softness of your body, rather than feeling bad about it. “For me it was always my stomach, it was my most hated body part,” Crabbe says.

“I couldn’t stand my belly rolls, I was terrified of being on top [during sex] and my body moving. And one of the big things for me was to stop being so physically rough with myself. I used to tug on my skin [...] and it was horrible.

“Actually just touching myself with kindness - spending a little bit of time before I go to sleep stroking my stomach, being thankful, thinking softness is lovely - my stomach feels like a roll of velvet and that’s lovely, and just getting used to being kinder to myself in that way.”

2. Unfollow people who make you feel bad about your body

Curating your Instagram feed with people who make you feel good can have a huge effect on your relationship with your body.

“It’s the easiest thing in the world and it makes such a difference,” Crabbe says. “I think people don’t realise how learned our idea of beauty is and you can actually change your perception of what is beautiful and what bodies are worthy and lovable.

“I used to follow all the Kardashians and I was obsessed with them but at some point I just had to be like: ‘Kim, you’re making me miserable. Bye.’ Unfollow, block.”

3. Keep questioning

“We need to spend more time questioning where the idea comes from that thinness will make you more lovable or more worthy or more deserving,” Crabbe says. “I think hugely it comes from diet culture and the diet industry.”

Crabbe explains that the idea that when we lose weight, everything in our life will fall into place is a lie we’ve all been sold by companies selling weight loss products, but this simply isn’t true.

She says we need to keep asking ourselves: “Why do I think everything in my life would be better if I was thinner? Where has that idea come from? Why am I hurting myself to fit this image that maybe I’m not supposed to be?”

“It’s no wonder we feel like we are not worthy of finding someone good for us until we’re thin.”

Because actually, you’re great exactly as you are.