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'You're bound to be disappointed when I take off my clothes': Online daters reveal what their brutally honest profiles would really say

'Are you ready for adventure? You should probably look elsewhere'

David Maclean
Tuesday 11 October 2016 10:45 BST
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Our online bios reflect our best selves, but would we get any matches if we were honest?
Our online bios reflect our best selves, but would we get any matches if we were honest? (Vimeo)

Dating profiles are probably on a par with CVs when it comes to people gently polishing the truth.

A couple of short-haul trips to Europe and you're an "avid traveller", while that stag do at the go-kart track means you "live life in the fast lane".

But a recent AskReddit thread, in which people what their "completely honest" dating profile would say, revealed the honest and often hilarious truth.

"Are you ready for adventure? You should probably look elsewhere," was the top-rated response, with one person saying they were going to steal it for their Plenty of Fish dating profile "right now".

Another admitted that their was a downside to their excellent fashion sense, with: "I'm a fantastic dresser, so you're bound to be disappointed when I take off my clothes."

A woman admitted: "I'm like a 5/10, but sometimes I'll put on makeup and become a 6, maybe 6.5/10. Also, your mother will LOVE me!"

One food lover said: "You better be ok with a snack break during sex."

While one lazy person turned the "long walks on the beach" dating trope on its head, hedging his bets with a "I like short walks on the beach".

But it was one guy's response which really summed up the slightly empty truth about swiping through potential suitors online.

He said: "I'm doing this online dating thing because I'm kinda lonely, a little horny, but mostly ambivalent about dating. So chances are that unless you're really hot or just generally out of my league, I'll probably just flirt with you a little online then lose interest."

Others were just straight depressing, try "I'm just tired of sleeping alone", "please date me", and "I crave love".

One person admitted that his profile description is already brutally honest.

AggressiveSpatula wrote: "My Tinder bio is 'My mom drives me to most of my hookups."

It hasn't worked. He later admitted: "I haven't had sex in like a year."

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