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Lifestyle Love & Sex Want to be a ‘stay-at-home girlfriend’? Keep fit and learn to cook Emily de Rean, 37, says quitting work has helped her look after herself
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Emily de Rean decided life was too short to be unhappy at work (Courtesy Emily de Rean / SWNS) Your support helps us to tell the story From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
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Your support makes all the difference. Read more A woman who ditched her corporate career for a life of leisure has shared what she believes it takes to become a stay-at-home girlfriend.
Emily de Rean, 37, had not always aspired to the role but decided to quit her corporate job as a financial analyst following her father’s death from cancer. His passing led her to realise life was too short “to be unhappy”.
After finding love with her fiancé, Michael, 40, a business owner, he supported her decision to stop working to pursue her other passions.
Ms De Rean hopes to become an author, whiling away the years writing and socialising with friends instead of being “restricted” by a job.
She has shared her tips for young women if they aspire to become a “stay-at-home girlfriend” and “create their dream life” – which include dating someone a few years older and someone open minded.
Ms De Rean, from Dallas, Texas, said: “I used to work as financial analyst and I started to realise that I didn’t want to be stuck in a corporate job all my life.
“My dad passed away and it got me thinking if this was really what I wanted to do for my short time on earth.
“I met Michael and he encouraged me to stop working - and become a stay-at-home girlfriend - so I could have time to do something more productive.
“Now I spend my hours doing what I want and have time to look after my body, cook nice meals and spend quality time with friends.
“I want to help other young women to realise their wants and needs and date accordingly.
“You don’t have to just be a stay at home mum, you can aspire to be a young childfree woman at not work.
“All you need to do is find a partner that can help you achieve that lifestyle and has the same vision as you.”
Emily de Rean’s advice for aspiring stay-at-home girlfriends Don’t date for “potential” Learn to cook three meals Date someone a few years older Keep in shape Date someone open-minded with a solid career
Ms De Rean’s tale comes after a 26-year-old TikTok user proclaimed herself to be a “stay-at-home girlfriend” too. The user, Rose Davis, sparked a huge debate on the topic with one critic writing: “Please tell me this is a joke.”
As a 20-year-old, Ms De Rean went to university to study finance and worked her way up the career ladder as a financial analyst but after six years in the industry she became tired of the commute and lack of time off .
“I wasn’t enjoying it anymore,” she said. “My dad was dying of cancer, and he told me if you’re unhappy you should do something else.”
Taking her father’s advice, she quit her job and started working as a nanny instead. “That was lovely,” she said. “But when I met my fiancé, Michael, he told me I didn’t have to work at all if I didn’t want to.
“He told me I’d be able to come with him on work trips and I could do what I wanted to do with the rest of my time.”
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Don’t date teachers if you want a life of leisure, Emily de Rean advises (Courtesy Emily de Rean / SWNS) Ms De Rean now spends her time cooking, writing, and posting on social media to give advice to other young women who want to find their “dream man” who will meet their needs.
“I love cooking and men love a home-cooked meal so that’s a plus,” she said. “I think it’s a great tool to have.”
Ms De Rean advises against dating for “potential” winners and says women should weed out men “who won’t go anywhere”. Salary is a key factor, she adds.
She said: “There is nothing wrong with a man who wants to be a teacher but if your goal is to be a stay-at-home girlfriend then he’ll never be able to provide for that.
“You have to be choosey and only date from pool of men that meets your requirements. They need to be finanically viable for your needs.
“You don’t know how a man is going to end up even if he has potential. You should date the finished product.”
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Ms De Rean says aspiring ladies of leisure should stay in shape and learn to cook (Courtesy Emily de Rean / SWNS) The ex-financial adviser said she also had some “red flags” for women trying to follow in her pampered footsteps.
“If on a first date he doesn’t offer to pick you up or get you a car that’s not a good sign,” she said. “He should invite you to dinner not coffee and if he is asking to split the bill that’s a red flag.”
A relationship with a man brought up by a working woman could also be difficult. “That woman is a champion but for the man it will set his subconscious to have those expectations,” she said.
“If a man has been brought up by a stay-at-home mum, then he’s been conditioned to want that already. I think the most important thing is to make sure your vision aligns with his. Being a stay-at-home girlfriend isn’t for everyone but if it’s what you want and need, you shouldn’t be shamed for it.”
SWNS
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