‘Tindstagramming’ is a new dating trend – and it needs to stop

‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again’ 

Olivia Petter
Monday 02 October 2017 14:12 BST

As if the murky waters of online dating weren’t tarnished enough by zombies, ghosts and breadcrumbers…now we’re faced with an entirely new sex-starved beast: the “Tindstagrammer.”

Far creepier than its buzzword predecessors, “Tindstagramming (coined by New York Magazine) is “the act of sneaking into someone’s Instagram direct messages after failing to match with them on Tinder.”

In other words, it’s the modern day definition of desperation.

Since Tinder got into cyber bed with Instagram in 2015, it’s been possible to link your two profiles together meaning you can choose for your Insta username to appear on your profile.

Therefore, all an eager “Tindstagrammer” needs to launch into their very own James Bond stalking mission is a good memory and a perverse understanding of dating culture.

After all, nothing screams sexy like tracking someone down and getting in touch with them against their will, right?

“It has happened to me about 13 times in the last few months,” 23-year-old Lola told The Independent.

“I don’t even use Tinder anymore, but I constantly get messages from guys I’ve never met telling me they’ve seen me on it, which might not even be true.”

Not only does “Tindstagramming” undermine the entire premise of Tinder, which operates on a swipe-by-swipe basis that conditions conversations with mutual interest (both parties must swipe right), but it completely subverts the consensual element that constitutes dating IRL.

It’s basically 2017’s version of approaching someone in a bar, being politely told to go away and returning 10 minutes later with a “spare” martini and a knock-knock joke.

Plus, the fundamental motive of a “Tindstagrammer” doesn’t even really make sense.


If you’ve already been rejected on Tinder, what makes the “Tindstagrammer” think that anyone would be less discerning on Instagram?

Does a stream of selfies and wry captions boost one’s appeal in today’s hashtag-saturated society?

With the overwhelming amount of dating apps today, "Tindstagramming" is happening more and more as people go to great lengths to capture one another’s attention.


When it comes to dating, persistence is most certainly not key.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies


Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in