Husband complains ex-wife moved on too fast after he broke up with her on their anniversary trip

‘I guess you were supposed to just sit around wallowing in tears while he went off doing whatever and whoever until he was ready to come back to you’

Brittany Miller
New York
Thursday 13 June 2024 22:12 BST
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Why couples argue and how to stop

How long should someone wait to start dating again after a break-up? It’s a common question among friends but also on social media.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, a woman explained that her husband had asked for a separation while they were on vacation to celebrate their 14th wedding anniversary. He had told her he simply “wasn’t happy” in their relationship and couldn’t explain why but thought there could be a better fit for him with someone else but admitted she might find “flirty” messages from other women if she checked his phone.

They ended up rebooking their flights home and he ultimately left their home for seven days before asking to come back and start marriage counseling. “He had a lot of trouble admitting he had at least one emotional affair. The counseling was not helpful, he was defensive and not open to it,” the Reddit post read.

Woman questions whether she moved on too quickly after ending marriage
Woman questions whether she moved on too quickly after ending marriage (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

After trying counseling and living together for four weeks, the woman wrote that her husband had given up and ended up signing a lease on a new apartment for himself.

The Reddit poster admitted the news came out of the blue, and it resulted in her needing to take time off of work just to process what was going on.

But four weeks later, she ended up hitting it off with a co-worker she had previously only interacted with online.

“We started seeing each other a couple times a week. Quite quickly it grew into a truly amazing, loving relationship. I’ve stayed in counseling throughout as it wasn’t easy to process the sudden ending of my long term marriage at the same time as beginning something new. It’s been about seven months now,” she explained in her Reddit post.

Her husband then decided he wanted to try and save the marriage again, but she declined, resulting in him telling her that she started a new relationship too quickly.

Despite her questioning whether or not her husband was right, many people took to the comments after she posted to let her know that they thought she made the right decision by turning down his offer to try to fix their marriage and assured her that she hadn’t moved on too quickly.

“He literally said he felt there’d be a better woman for him somewhere. He’s cheated on you probably multiple times so he doesn’t have the right to be mad at you for moving on when he couldn’t even stay faithful to you. He can’t try to get rid of you and want you again,” one comment read.

Another commenter agreed, writing: “He left you twice. I guess you were supposed to just sit around wallowing in tears while he went off doing whatever and whoever until he was ready to come back to you.”

“How is that even a question?” a third comment began. “He ruins your anniversary trip, is very likely to have cheated and dated other people after the marriage ended, he wanted to end the marriage, then out of nowhere he says he wants to save the marriage after he destroyed it then says you an a**hole for dating someone when you were single? I refuse to answer this question. He is the Sauron of a**holes.”

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