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Woman reveals why men shouldn’t ask to split the bill on dates: ‘Make his pockets hurt’

‘50/50 is a scam,’ one viewer writes in the comments

Amber Raiken
New York
Friday 28 January 2022 13:09 GMT
Tiktoker reveals why women shouldn’t be asked to split the bill on dates

A woman has sparked a debate after she revealed why she thinks women should not have to pay when going on a date with a man.

In a TikTok video posted this past November, Kiera Breaugh claimed that men shouldn’t expect a woman to split the bill on a date. And if they do, it is an “effect of the patriarchy.”

“One of the most insidious and ridiculous effects of the patriarchy is literally women paying 50/50,” Breaugh said.

“Men going around being like: ‘It’s 2021, equal rights, right? You’re going to pay 50/50,’” she continued. “The fact that men expect 50/50 from women when women don’t get 50 per cent of anything.”

She further claimed that, compared to men, women do not receive 50 per cent of the “money,” “safety,” “privilege,” or “space.”

“But pay, pay equal amounts even though you don’t have equal right,” Breaugh added. “Do you understand how ridiculous that is?”

She then claimed that asking a woman to split the bill on a date is a way for men to “pretend women are equal, before they get equal”.

​​”It benefits men to say: ‘Oh yeah, I’m a feminist, I believe in women paying 50/50 on dinner dates,’” she explained. “And that is the only time they believe in equality."

“Make his pockets hurt,” concluded the video.

The video has more than 480,100 views so far, with TikTok users in the comments agreeing with Breaugh’s point and claiming that men never want to split other responsibilities with women, such as “domestic duties”.

“A ton of men only want 50/50 financially but it’s never 50/50 domestic duties or child rearing,” one person wrote. “Or even worse equal rights equal fights.”

Another person said: “Making less money than a man, working the same amount of hours, having to do 90 per cent of the housework... 50/50 is a scam.”

Many viewers also claimed that if a man doesn’t cover the check on a date, it could be a potential red flag.

“Dates are for showcasing the best parts of relationships,” one viewer wrote. “If he has issues about dining out & paying for you now, it’ll only get worse once married.”

However, there were also those who claimed that men should not be required to pay.

“Just pay for your food dear. Don’t depend on a man,” one person wrote, while another said: “I feel sorry for women who think like this.”

While speaking to Buzzfeed on 26 January, Breaugh alleged that women paying for half of a date is an example of the patriarchy because men then “don’t have to court.”

“And the whole purpose of courting in the first place was because somebody decided that women weren’t allowed to have jobs, or credit cards, or own land,” she continued. “The effects of that are trickling down today, and there’s still a wage gap, so it makes no sense for women to have to pay 50/50 before they are paid 50/50.”

According to the Pew Research Research Center, data shows that the gender pay gap has practically remained the same over 15 years. After looking at an analysis of full and part-time workers from 2020, the center found that women earned 84 per cent of what men earned. If women were to make as much as men did in 2020, they would have had to take on “an extra 42 days of work”.

Breaugh also clarified to Buzzfeed that, in certain circumstances, such as when a woman is making more than a man, she believes that splitting the cost of something is justified.

“Women don’t make as much as men, so generally, if men are the ones inviting you out on the date, I think they should pay for the bill,” she said. “If a woman makes a lot more money than her partner, then obviously she should be contributing to rent.”

“If you’re in a partnership, and when things get long-term, I think it makes sense to go sort of income-based, maybe, so whoever makes more [pays more],” she added.

According to the Harvard Business Review, people should be “open about money right from the get-go” and shouldn’t make assumptions about who will be paying for the date.

“If you would like to take care of the check, it’s best to gauge how the other person feels about it first,” the publication says. “For instance, you might say: ‘How should we handle the bill? I know these conversations are a little awkward, but I’d love to cover it if you don’t mind.’

“Likewise, if you want to split it, you can suggest: ‘Do you mind if we split this down the middle?’”

The Independent has contacted Breaugh for a comment.

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