In the post, the anonymous man claimed that his wife has been spending “hundreds at a time on clothes, accessories, makeup and all others that fall within that ilk,” and that the only reason that they are not struggling financially is because he makes an “okay living” and because he doesn’t “buy anything”.
In the comments, he also clarified that his wife is spending his income, as she does not currently have a job but is looking.
“After running up $550 on a coat, I finally decided enough was enough. I built a spreadsheet, explained it to her, and wanted to handle things like adults,” he continued, adding that his wife handled the situation “like a high school kid stuck in the most boring class in the school” by struggling to stay awake and looking disinterested during the conversation.
The Reddit user concluded the post explaining that he didn’t expect a fight after unveiling the budget, as he thought it was “fair,” before revealing that his wife didn’t feel the same way.
“She, on the other hand, doesn’t view this as a budget that benefits us both, she views this as I’m dominating her and I’m constricting her,” he said.
The post, which has been upvoted more than 5,000 times, has prompted mixed responses in the comments, with some declaring the Reddit user’s wife “selfish” while others blamed him for not discussing money with his partner before getting married.
“If you’re married, you’re in a partnership. A partner doesn’t go out and spend all of the money of the partnership on nonessentials, especially if the other partner is funding things,” one person claimed. “It’s extremely selfish.”
Another said: “People who cannot control spending generally do not change. You need to run away.”
Others encouraged the man to create separate bank accounts, advising him to create one for his wife, one for himself, and then a joint one that could be used to pay for household expenses.
“Everyone needs a budget, but this is something that should have been hammered out before you got married,” someone else wrote. “There’s a reason that money is a leading cause of divorce. Personally, I’m a fan of yours, mine, and ours funds. Both partners get an equal monthly ‘allowance’ to spend however they want, no questions asked. Anything else gets put into the ‘ours’ fund and that’s used for household costs. Any household cost outside of normal bills over $x has to be approved by both people.
“So, she can buy her $550 coat with her monthly money after she saves up. But it comes out of her money, not joint money.”
While many Reddit users were on the husband’s side, there were also those who criticised him for attempting to put his wife on a budget as if “she were a child”.
“You’re both young and it’s quite possible you are not on the same foot about finances which is a deal breaker,” one person commented. “However, you do not ‘put’ your wife on budget as if she were a child. You don’t build the spreadsheet first and then tell her what she can spend.”
Rather, the user suggested that the couple should “take a look at finances together, what’s coming in, what you can afford, what your goals are”.
“If this marriage turns out not to be for the two of you together please do end it before kids come into the picture,” they added.
Someone else claimed that the husband was guilty of “dominating and constricting” his wife as she had claimed, with the user noting: “Maybe this is something for, oh, say, the two of you to work on cooperatively?”
In 2018, financial firm TD Ameritrade found that 41 per cent of divorced Gen Xers and 29 per cent of Boomers say they ended their marriage due to disagreements over money.
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