Alexei Sayle: 'Another executive saloon you won't want'

Here's how it used to go in the old days. A car manufacturer would produce a complete range of motors - Fiesta for women and the private buyer, Escort for the junior exec, Sierra for the older salesman, and a top-of-the-range, V6-engined Granada aimed at senior management and the Flying Squad.

Then slowly it dawned on senior management that they could choose a big car from a premium manufacturer instead - a BMW or a Mercedes, say - a car with cachet and style, rather than one that shared its switchgear and design DNA with budget models. After all, who wouldn't prefer a Jaguar to a Fiat Croma or a Toyota Camry?

So during the past decade, manufacturers of mass-market brands - such as Ford, Fiat, Nissan and Toyota - have either abandoned the top end of the market, or have bought or created their own premium brands - such as Toyota/ Lexus, Ford/Jaguar, Volkswagen/Audi - or they still soldier on with big cars, such as the Vauxhall Omega or the Peugeot 607, that never sell for anything like list price, suffer massive depreciation and end up on the Heathrow-airport-for £28-run within two years.

Nevertheless, there is still an incentive for a mass-market firm to try to produce a successful, top-of-the-range vehicle. Much more profit can be wrung out of an executive model compared to its budget siblings; a desirable car at the top of the range lends glamour to those further down the price band, and the President of France, being forced to ride around in a domestic product, will be very grateful if you make him something nice.

Which brings us to the Renault Vel Satis. Rather than endeavour to follow their slow- selling Safrane with another dull, conventional saloon, the French manufacturer has attempted to create a whole new kind of big executive car that you don't want to drive. While I am a great admirer of the rest of the Renault line-up, the wonderful Megane, the pretty Clio, the innovative Scenic - all of which combine style with value - the Vel Satis is not a pretty beast and is not particularly cheap. The big- arsed styling that works so well on the Megane, when scaled up a couple of classes appears bulky and disproportionate, the long front overhang matched to a big square body is nose heavy and awkward.

I first used the Renault on a book tour and found the 2.0T engine underpowered when I wanted to overtake. The noise levels at first seemed higher than you'd expect for a comparable luxury saloon, but after a while I grew used to the different harmonics and came to enjoy the space and comfort. Because of the high centre of gravity, the ride seemed initially less composed than on a lower slung executive car, but again perhaps it was just different.

In town, the big passenger compartment was of great use to me. I was able to carry my bicycles about in a way I never could in my own Alfa, the suspension soaked up speedbumps that my sports saloon crashed into, and I was able to transport four lanky teenage relatives from the provinces around the sights of London without any discomfort whatsoever.

While the compromised Renault Vel Satis is never going to be a huge success, it certainly could appeal to the individualist who wants to drive something that is both practical and yet looks different - it certainly attracted a lot more looks than a comparable 5 series or E class would.