Wheels ETC, Audi A4: A less manly gear change for the better

The new Audi A4 2.0 TFSI quattro 1

From Nelson's Column to the gear stick, the skyscraper to the trophy, the phallus is everywhere, especially in the automotive world. Not in the new Audi A4, though.

Audi makes cars driven (usually) by aggressive, phallus-obsessed men who like to hammer down the outside lane of the motorway bullying us mere mortals out of their way. Now, though, instead of the traditional pillar-style gear-knob for its automatic gearbox, a redesigned gear lever takes on a chunkier, flatter and more tactile form. It's more like a throttle control on a gender-neutral starship. This begs the question, then: is this the first post-penis executive car? And will that make its drivers be more polite on the motorway? Part of this is down to the slow shift to automatic gearboxes and the rise of the rotary dial and button killing the romance of slamming a car through quick, high-speed car changes. But it's also a desire to free up space in car cabins for extra storage, spaces for smartphones and cup holders. This is possible because the nuts, bolts and cables that were once connected to the gearbox are being replaced by electronic circuits.

The rush to the knob and dial is why Tesla's Model S, along with a raft of Mercedes models, now uses a diminutive shift lever on the side of the steering column to shift gears instead of a traditional stick. It's also why Jaguar's XJ and XF models are graced with a rotary dial that rises smoothly out of the dash. It looks slick, but is a fiddly affair compared with the Audi.

Back to the Audi A4. What difference does this less penis-obsessed gear selector make? Well, the desire to floor the throttle pedal seems reduced. It's rapid by any standards (and equally refined and composed) but on a motorway run, I found that without the firm stick in my left hand, a far more relaxing form of driving took hold. I was happy just to sit, both hands on the wheel, not fiddling with the gear stick. Now, just imagine if every middle manager and travelling sales executive had one of these for his journeys down Britain's motorways. What a relaxing post-penis place they would be in then.

Audi A4

Price: £38,135

Engine capacity: 3-litre V6 diesel

Power output (bhp @ rpm): 268 @ 3,250 - 4,250

Top speed (mph): 155

Fuel economy (mpg): 54.3 CO2 emissions (g/km): 137