Nothing comes to she who waits...

charmed life

Do Blondes have more fun? Not sure about that one. I was talking to a Blonde at a party who told me she had worked it out. "Men," she said. "Men have more fun."

This very pretty, very blonde Blonde told me it had come to her as a revelation. She had noticed that men generally seemed to be out there having a better time than women. So what did they do that she didn't? Go to the pub, down pints, play darts, go to football matches and play rugby. So what did she choose to do? Well, all of these things. And it has changed her life immeasurably.

And she has a point there. I mean, just think about it. To be a single woman is a situation which needs to be rectified. Everyone is always asking if you've managed to do something about it, as if it was some sort of embarrassing medical complaint. Women cannot be single - full stop. You are merely in transit and have got to catch the next available flight out of there. For men, it's no problem. They don't worry. They just get on with life. They wait for no woman. It's months, even years before their single status becomes an issue and they are given the SINBAD stamp (Single Income No Bird Absolutely Desperate).

Women spend a lot of time waiting. Waiting for: the telephone to ring - however much you stare at it, this does not make it ring (I've tried); waiting for nail polish to dry; waiting for hair highlights to take; waiting for your period; waiting to give birth. And that's it. That's the key to our situation. Women wait. Men "do".

Look at Action Man and Barbie. Action Man has loads of outdoor gear, so he can get out there and do lots of actiony stuff. What does Barbie have? A house and lots of pretty clothes. To do what with? Well, sit at home, all dressed up, waiting for the telephone to ring, of course.

But, to be honest, playing darts, going to the football and playing rugby do not hold huge appeal for me. Especially the rugby. Can you imagine - all that mud, all that pain, getting your ear bitten off. No way. So after watching an Action Man I know waterskiing, I decided this looked quite cool, and I'd try that instead of rugby. But maybe I'll wait until the summer, when the water's a bit warmer...

Meanwhile the Blonde is going to ring me up about QPR and darts. I'll let you know if that's how Blondes have more fun.