OPINIONS : Are you a noisy neighbour?

JAMES WHALE, television presenter: Not really. But there should be some sort of test for people who have too much wax in their ears and can't hear when they're making too much noise. They could be taken out into the street to have their ears syringed publicly.

PETE KING, community centre manager: My two pensioner neighbours invited me for tea one day but I realised it was only to broach the question of my stereo. I asked why they hadn't said anything earlier and they said, "Well, we do bang on the wall with a broom". But with 50 watts per channel pumping out they didn't really stand a chance.

ROYAL COLLEGE OF MUSIC spokesman: We have students of strings, brass, piano, flutes, clarinets, bassoons - all very pleasant to hear, unless the flutes get too high, which can be painful. We restrict practice hours in our halls of residence, and in fact we often get appreciative calls from neighbours. But we don't allow brass players in the halls because it's just not fair.

DR JONATHAN SIME, environmental psychologist: I had a party which I knew was going to be noisy, so I invited my neighbours. I live in a terrace and I invited people up to five houses away. We still got a visit from the police because of noise. They were called by the man six houses down.

DOREEN PEMBERTON, pet shop owner: I keep a Rottweiler because I've been burgled four times, but she's not at all noisy - she only barks when someone rattles the gate, which is what she's there for. In the shop, no problems with gerbils and fish and the like - it's just the dogs! Oh, crumbs yes - they bark. I've got a Cocker spaniel puppy at the moment that drives me crazy, it never stops. Some breeds are noisier than others, especially small ones - Pomeranians and Yorkies bark a lot.

DAVID EVENNETT MP: If you make a racket through endless parties or DIY or car mechanics on a Sunday morning that's socially irresponsible. I want England and Wales to have the sames law as applies in Scotland, where it is a criminal instead of merely a civil offence.

CLAIRE MATTHEWS, secretary: We had some infuriating neighbours downstairs who kept complaining that our perfectly normal washing machine was causing seismic convulsions in their kitchen. They would spend all evening lurking in their kitchen waiting for a chance to come up and make a fuss.

JOHN McLENNAN, taxi driver: It's a matter of priorities. I get home at 4am after my shift and I want to have a cup of tea and put the telly on, but I don't want to piss off the family next door who get up at the crack of dawn. But if they keep me awake in the afternoon, then I'll go and say something which mightn't be very pleasant.