Why it's important to cry in front of your children, according to blogger

'I remember sobbing behind a closed door determined my children wouldn't see me'

Sarah Young
Thursday 19 April 2018 11:16
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All parents feel the need to cry from time to time but, in fear of burdening their children, many suppress their emotions and put on a brave face.

Australian blogger, Constance Hall, used to be one of those parents but now she’s urging others to join her in letting their children see them at their most vulnerable.

This, she says, is because it teaches them that there’s nothing wrong with experiencing human emotion.

Posting on Facebook, the outspoken mother-of-four who’s pregnant with her fifth child, admitted that she used to hide in the shower whenever she needed to cry, or would wipe her puffy face and reassure her children that she was fine.

“You know, you don’t want your kids to feel the insecurity of their rock breaking down,” she explained.

“I remember sobbing behind a closed door determined that my children wouldn't see me.”

But, despite trying hard to keep up appearances, one day they caught her and their reaction changed everything.

“They inevitably caught me, they consoled me, in gentle caring ways, little arms on my shoulders as I lied about being fine,” she wrote.

“I got help, my life got better. But my children remained changed.”

But, changed for the better. Hall realised that by letting her children see her cry she was teaching them that it’s okay to be vulnerable and how to handle raw emotion.

“On the weekend, I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughter's eyes my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs,” she added.

“I realised that my kids are completely okay with human emotion, not traumatised from seeing their mum cry, they care and understand that this is life.”

Hall ended her post by reassuring parents that everyone has their limits and that crying in front of your children won’t hurt them.

“There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t secure,” she concluded.

“And if we can’t be there for each other why are we here at all?”

Hall’s post clearly struck a chord with parents all over the globe as it quickly amassed 29,000 reactions, almost 3,000 shares and thousands of comments.

“I let my three boys see me cry because then they see me experiencing emotion, and then they see me stop crying and feel better. Where else are children going to learn this?” one person commented.

Another added: "I don't hide my emotions from my kids. Ever. I'm not afraid to show them I'm happy, or when I'm mad, or scared or worried or just sad.

“I think that not only do they need to know that I have these emotions, I think it's important for them to know that it's ok for them to have those emotions too.

“They need to be able to be sad and not feel the need to hide it from the people they love and who love them."

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