Phillip Schofield says keeping his sexuality a secret was going to give him ‘a total breakdown’

‘I had to come out. If I didn't, the secret was going to give me a total breakdown,’ This Morning presenter writes in autobiography

Phillip Schofield on This Morning (25 June 2020) (ITV/REX)

Phillip Schofield has opened up about how keeping his sexuality a secret impacted his mental wellbeing, explaining that he once had to leave the This Morning set to be sick due to the pressure.

In February this year, Schofield released an emotional statement on Instagram revealing that he is gay.

The television presenter wrote that his wife of 27 years, Stephanie Lowe, and their two daughters, Ruby and Molly, had been supporting him while he had been “coming to terms with the fact that I am gay”.

He said that his family had “tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusion”, while sharing “many heart-breaking conversations at home”.

Schofield’s This Morning co-presenter, Holly Willoughby, later shared a statement of support on Instagram for her colleague, writing: “Never been more proud of my friend than I am today.”

On Thursday 15 October, Schofield released his new autobiography Life’s What You Make It, in which he discusses his decision to speak publicly about his sexuality.

In the book, the 58-year-old writes: “I had to come out. If I didn't, the secret was going to give me a total breakdown . . . at best,” according to OK magazine.

Schofield recalls one time when he was en route to ITV studios, when he heard a voice in his head that said: “You’re f***ing up everything and everyone and there’s no way to stop it.”

At this point, the television presenter asked his driver to take him back home and he texted the This Morning producers to let them know that he wouldn’t be making it in that day, he writes.

"It was the first time my issues had spilled over into work,” he says in the memoir.

“Another day I had to leave a fashion item to be sick. I now knew that I needed professional help."

In the book, Schofield states that when he and Lowe wed in 1993, he was not aware that he was gay.

“I love Steph with all my heart. We’ve had the best marriage,” he says.

Schofield adds that Lowe gave him “her full support” when he told her he is gay.

If you are in need of mental health support, you can contact Mind’s infoline by calling 0300 123 3393 for information on where you can find help. The infoline is open from 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday, except on bank holidays.