The question was raised on Reddit, where someone asked: “Marriage/engagement photographers/videographers of Reddit, have you developed a sixth sense for which marriages will flourish and which will not? What are the green and red flags?”
In response to the question, which received more than 6,000 comments, photographers shared the signs of a doomed marriage, from not being able to overcome small issues on the big day to smashing cake in one another’s faces.
According to many of the photographers, they can tell whether a couple will last by how they act during their professional photos – and whether their emotions are real or just staged.
“When one person is critical of the other during the shoot but then posts the photos with the caption: ‘About to marry my best friend and soulmate,’” one person wrote.
Another recalled a time when the bride asked for a refund because her groom didn’t look happy in the photos.
“They got divorced about a year later. I know because I did his engagement photos with his new fiancée about four years after his first wedding,” the photographer wrote. “His engagement photos showed him much happier.”
For other photographers, how newlyweds navigate the cutting of the cake is a telling sign – as it often reveals their true feelings and levels of respect towards one another.
“Photographer here: to me the biggest sign is the cake cutting. Some people like to smear the cake everywhere as a joke, some people don’t. Usually the couple is in sync about this,” one person commented. “They know what the other would like and they don’t smush cake on the other’s face if they wouldn’t want that.
“Sometimes one of them (usually the groom) will force cake all over the other’s face and embarrass and upset them. I’ve seen this happen a handful of times and those relationships that I have kept up with have ended in a divorce.”
For another wedding photographer, how a couple handles stress is telling of how successful their marriage will be.
They commented: “You can tell somewhat based on how the couple treats each other on the wedding day. If they are respectful towards one another (and towards me) during a day full of stress then I think that’s a good indicator of being able to deal with other problems that may arise during a marriage.”
As for green flags, the photographers said green flags are typically behaviour such as coming to meetings together and discussing as a couple what is wanted in terms of pictures.
Being able to laugh during “awkward poses” and displaying joint excitement for the wedding are also signs a marriage is more likely to last.
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