Samaritans volunteer learns co-worker of four years helped her during suicide crisis

‘All he did was listen, and listening is just enough sometimes,’ Samaritans volunteer says

Georgina Laurie and Des McCarthy (Samaritans / SWNS)

A Samaritans volunteer has discovered that the man who has sat beside her for four years in a call centre is the same person who helped her when she was contemplating suicide.

Around seven years ago, 60-year-old Georgina Laurie, from Rainham, Kent, experienced the sudden death of her husband, Dennis.

She had suffered a stroke a year earlier, an occurrence that “completely changed” her life and resulted in her struggling to “cope”.

“I got really depressed, really down and I really couldn’t see there was a way forward in life for me,” Ms Laurie said.

The grandmother explained that while she hadn’t considered calling Samaritans, a serendipitous moment resulted in her calling the charity when she had reached a low point.

“I was in bed, I was coughing and I dribbled water and I went into my bedside cabinet to get a tissue and believe it or not, a Samaritans card flicked out,” she said.

“I hadn’t really considered them at all and I thought ‘I will give them a call’ and it wasn’t to be talked out of what I was doing – I wanted the universe to know what I was doing. I didn’t leave a note or anything.”

When Ms Laurie called the organisation, the phone was answered by a man who listened to her speak for an hour.

“I know I was talking about the difficulties in the family since my husband died, and it was really difficult,” she recalled.

“I told him what I was going to do. He didn’t judge me; there was no judgement, there was no trying to change my mind.”

Ms Laurie said she felt she could “trust” and “open up” to the Samaritans volunteer on the other end of the phone, who at one point said to her: “I would just like to say one thing; this all sounds totally exhausting.”

This statement made Ms Laurie realise how “emotionally and physically exhausted” she felt, an understanding that made her question whether she was making the right decision.

Two and a half years later, she decided to start volunteering for Samaritans in Strood, where she began working with the branch director Des McCarthy.

About five months ago, while doing an evening shift, Ms Laurie experienced a sudden moment of realisation as to the extraordinary impact Mr McCarthy had on her life four years prior.

“I was training one of my mentees and my mentee was on the phone so I had more time to listen to what Des was saying, albeit subconsciously,” she said.

“I suddenly heard Des say, ‘It must have been exhausting for you’ and it was like being transferred back all those years, I couldn’t believe it. It was really one of those serendipitous moments and I realised that it was Des I had spoken to.”

When Ms Laurie told Mr McCarthy about their previous encounter, he revealed that he doesn’t remember the call, as Samaritans volunteers are trained to forget phone conversations.

“I don’t have a stock of phrases. Some people will have a comfort in using a stock of phrases when they begin but I don’t think I ever had,” the former police officer said.

“It’s not something I say very often at all.”

After three years as branch director, McCarthy is stepping down from the role, and will be replaced by Ms Laurie.

“Des didn’t try and talk me out of doing anything,” she said of their first conversation.

“All he did was do what we say on the tin; we listen, and listening is just enough sometimes.”

You can contact the Samaritans by calling them for free from any phone for free on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or visit www.samaritans.org to find details of your nearest branch.