Say hello, and wave goodbye

Sunday 05 October 1997 23:02

They have been huge for five years; by now there can't be a single man alive in this country who hasn't been clobbered by a pair of breasts swathed in a Wonderbra, or sister-of-Wonderbra. Fifties sirens (Gina Lollobrigida, Sophia Loren, etc) made missile tits under twinsets an exciting look, but today's updated version has been flogged ever so slightly to death. Time to ditch this pesky lifestyle item. Why?

Because if you have great breasts, you don't need wonder-help.

If you don't, a wonderbra succeeds only in making them look like bunched apples sticking out of your neck.

Anyone who's ever worn one knows they're like being permanently strapped into a Formula One seat belt.

They're padded - falsies are for 13-year-olds.

Breasts are like peaches and need to be handled with care - not trussed up like a turkey.

Let your boyfriend spend an evening in some wonderpants, and then see if he still thinks you shouldn't burn yours.

Yes, for these and many other reasons, we feel it's time to say ciao, baby to Wonderbra'd baby - bye bye.

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