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SIMON CALDER

Simon Calder
Friday 10 May 1996 23:02 BST
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At last: a benefit from rail privatisation - free upgrades to first class. The Government is spending a fortune on promoting the virtues of selling off the railways, and at the same time stretching the public's credulity to the limit. The latest issue of Rail Privatisation Update trills about the benefits of competition. It fails to mention that if you wish to use public transport between, say, Derby and London, you can choose between a bus operated by National Express or a train operated by... National Express.

The rule book that seeks to govern this desperate muddle is the National Conditions of Carriage. In case all the Railtrack sell-off advertisements (what? no trains?) have set you wondering what a train actually looks like, you will find the useful tip that "the term 'train' includes any road vehicle owned or operated by a train company".

Buried amongst all the befuddlement, however, is the promise for rail travellers of free upgrades to first class. Next time you find yourself on a train where there is standing room only in second (sorry, standard) class, try quoting this at the guard (sorry, senior conductor): "If you have a standard class ticket and no standard class accommodation is available, with the prior permission of the ticket staff on that train you may travel in first class accommodation without extra charge."

In other words, when second class is full but first class isn't you should demand an upgrade. Drop section 1, part 1, condition 36 (b) into your conversation with the ticket inspector. And good luck.

Can anyone offer a foolproof way to deal with rogue taxi drivers? It must be possible to devise a system for avoiding ludicrously high fares. British cabbies are models of rectitude compared with their foreign counterparts.

Travelling between Venice airport and the nearest rail station, I found myself taken for a ride in two senses. The taxi had a functioning meter. The driver knew, however, that the newly arrived traveller had no knowledge of the intricacies of the charging system. So he switched the tariff to its highest, and loaded on pounds 4 worth of extras. This was in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, when charges tend to be at their lowest whether you are in Italy or Islington. I was travelling alone with minimal luggage.

The 10km, 10-minute journey clocked pounds 17. As I clambered out, he pressed a button and magically added 10 per cent to the total. Deftly rounding this up to award himself a tip, I was left pounds 20 out of pocket. A colleague later said this was rather more than twice the going rate. So where did I go wrong?

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