Woman sparks debate for wanting to host her wedding in her sister’s dream spot

‘She’s just really jealous,’ a blunt reader says

Kaleigh Werner
New York
Friday 22 March 2024 17:07 GMT
Wedding haka

One sister has stirred conversation after mentioning she wanted to host her nuptials in the spot her sibling has always desired.

Debating whether it was a good idea, the curious woman took to Reddit’s famed forum, Am I The A**hole, seeking other opinions.

“I (24F) am from the US, but went to university in the UK and have been in England since. My fiancé Nick (25M) is from Italy, but similarly came to the UK for uni,” she explained before noting that her 27-year-old sister, Sarah, wasn’t engaged. Still, Sarah has always fantasised about her future wedding, from the colour scheme to the location being an Italian vineyard.

That said, the Redditor and her fiancé have selected Tuscany as their wedding venue after considering New York and London.

“We chose Tuscany because: 1) we find it the most beautiful, 2) his family has a huge vineyard where they’re happy to host everyone, and 3) with the money we’d save for venue and accommodations, we could pay for the airfare of all our guests coming from the US,” she proclaimed.

The Reddit user then added: “It’ll be a small wedding, max 50 people (~15 from the US, 10 from the UK, so it’s doable). Anyway we go about it it’ll be a destination wedding for some people, so Tuscany is thus the best financially speaking.”

Despite the benefits, Sarah isn’t pleased with their decision. The Redditor described her sibling as being “furious” and wrote: “She called me selfish for doing this to her, since I’ve never cared nearly as much about weddings but now I’m stealing her dream location.”

Their parents had sided with Sarah. However, the Reddit user told them she and Nick would be covering the travel and accommodation costs for their family, which squashed their financial concerns about two destination weddings. Sarah is still upset.

“After talking with my mom today she suggested that we just have it in England to ‘keep the peace’, since this means so much to my sister while I’ve never cared much for weddings,” the original poster admitted.

She then said her mom and dad “discussed and think they’re able to cover the cost of all the airfare for people flying from the US – which might be financially doable for them, but really not ideal as they’re both retired”.

Now, the Redditor isn’t sure what to do. Nick would love to tie the knot in Italy, and his parents are more than willing to host.

“I don’t think I’m the AH since this is literally where Nick’s family LIVES, but I’m willing to admit I’m wrong. So WIBTA if I don’t give in?” she questioned.

Passionate readers responded to the Reddit user’s situation, debating whether she should be responsible for “keeping the peace”.

One viewer remarked: “NTA. ‘Keep the peace’ means ‘your sister’s wishes mean everything and yours mean nothing.’ Your sister does not have a wedding planned at an Italian vin[e]yard. She’s not even engaged! There are a thousand vin[e]yards anyway, hardly a unique location.”

“She’s just really jealous,” a blunt individual added. “You live abroad, got the italian guy, are getting married, and to top it all at a destination she dreamt of and is basically your inlaws home...”

“What if she never gets married? What if she meets an Italian dream boat at your wedding and still can have hers at another gorgeous winery there too?” a Reddit user suggested.

One experienced woman related to Sarah: “I almost got mad at my BFF for naming her child the name I chose for my future daughter. I was pissy about a day, because I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant anytime soon. I knew I didn’t own the name and I loved the child before she was even born.”

“If she’s concerned that she won’t get a family turnout because people may not be able to get PTO for two destination weddings, there’s no difference between getting PTO for an English wedding or an Italian wedding,” a rational user noted.

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