The Bachelorette: How the US reality show opened up a conversation about sex

'I have had sex and Jesus still loves me'

Chelsea Ritschel
New York
Tuesday 16 July 2019 17:30 BST
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Luke won't leave on The Bachelorette after pressuring Hannah Brown about sex

The Bachelorette has initiated an interesting conversation around sex, after Hannah Brown sent a contestant home for pressuring her to abstain.

On Monday night’s episode, Brown, 24, travelled to Greece for “fantasy suite week” inside a windmill with the four remaining contestants: Peter, Tyler, Jed and Luke.

During the week, the Bachelorette or Bachelor can spend time with their potential partners off-camera.

While some contestants have sex, as she did, it can also be used to “have the time in a real, raw way without cameras to see where my feelings are truly, and really find out who I want to be with for the rest of my life,” Brown explained.

Following dates between Brown and three of the finalists, the former beauty pageant winner sat down with Luke P, 24, who informed her that, although he’s not a virgin, he’s been abstinent for the past four years and expects the same from her.

Discussing the possibility of Brown exploring her other relationships on a “sexually intimate level,” Luke said: “Like I don’t believe that’s something you should be doing and I just want to make sure that you’re not going to be sexually intimate with the other relationships here.

“… Like if you told me you’re going to have sex or you had sex with one or multiple of these guys I would be wanting to go home 100 per cent.”

After informing Luke that she did not agree with him and that she can make her own decisions, Luke attempted to back-track, telling Brown that he could forgive her for a “slip-up” - prompting Brown to tell the Georgia native: “I do not want you to be my husband.”

The finalist’s time on The Bachelorette ended for good when he told Brown she owed him at least the chance to “share my heart,” to which Brown said: “I don’t owe you anything at this point.”

However, it was the Bachelorette’s final words to Luke that have been met with support from viewers.

“I have had sex,” Brown said as Luke refused to get into the car. “And Jesus still loves me.

“From obviously how you feel, me f***ing in a windmill [with other contestants], you probably want to leave. And my husband would never say what you said to me.”

As Luke drove away, Brown told the camera: “What I believe love is, it’s loving someone unconditionally and wholeheartedly. If you love me, then you love me. And you love everything about me.

“You know that there’s flaws about me, but you love me through these flaws. That’s what I want. You’re not gonna tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. I answer to the Lord. I don’t answer to Luke.”

In previous seasons, the show’s stance regarding sex with finalists has been hazy at best, with former contestants being shamed for spending nights in the Fantasy Suite.

But Brown’s admission that she had sex in a windmill, more than once, and her refusal to feel ashamed or be shamed, has led to praise for the show and for the Bachelorette.

“Wow, Hannah’s absolutely obliterating the misogyny and hypocrisy coming from Luke has me living,” one person wrote on Twitter.

Another said: “Pausing for a second just to appreciate how far we’ve come.

“Just four years ago, [former bachelorette] Kaitlyn Bristowe was slammed for even admitting she had sex with two of her guys.

“Tonight the internet is praising Hannah for owning her sexuality and her body. Let’s keep going.”

Following the episode, Luke attempted to further explain his final night on the show, writing on Instagram: "It hurt my heart that Hannah felt I was shaming her.

"In our conversation my heart was never to judge or condemn Hannah."

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The former contestant then took to Twitter to inform Hannah: "The difference in how we view sin is seen in the response, I'm weeping at mine and you're laughing at yours. All sin stings. My heart hurts for both of us."

The Bachelorette again defended herself, responding: "I have never said that I find my sin funny. I'm not going to be lectured on appropriate emotional responses by a guy who threw deli meat in a guys lap."

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