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Woman shares list of rules boyfriend gave her for college, prompting her to dump him

‘Be in your dorm by 9pm every night and facetime me so I know you are alone’

Gustaf Kilander
Washington, DC
Thursday 16 September 2021 15:23 BST
Related video: Tiktok Launches Mental Health Guide
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A woman shared a list of 11 rules her boyfriend sent to her before she went off to college, which prompted her to dump him, and has now gone viral.

TikTok user @ccarollynn posted a video showing the text message she received from her ex-boyfriend, now listed as “mistake” in her contacts.

“I thought it would be funny to read the rules my crazy, controlling ex-boyfriend sent me before I left for college,” she said in the video captioned “I wish I was joking”.

“Rules for Carolyn: PAY ATTENTION,” the message begins, followed by a long list of rules.

“Don’t ignore me after reading this”; “never turn off your life360, find my iphone, or Snap location”; “approve all outfits you wear past me and my mom”; “do not come in contact with boys by 25 or more feet”; “absolutely no drinking”; “no crop tops or tight clothing”; “be in your dorm by 9pm every night and facetime me so I know you are alone”; “no frat parties, house parties, dorm parties etc”; “no wearing other boys clothing”; “no comparing hand sizes with other boys, hugging, kissing etc”; and finally “never take off the ring I gave you”.

Carolyn appeared to have responded simply “wtf”.

She later added in the comments: “I’m by no means glamorising controlling relationships. I just thought it was funny he thought he had that control.”

She commented on each rule as she read them off.

“I don’t see what you or your mom have to do with what I wear, thanks,” she said about the clothing rule.

“I guess I don’t go to classes with boys or boy professors anymore, sorry – dropping out,” she said sarcastically about one of the rules.

“Rule number five – no drinking – guess I’m dying of dehydration I guess,” she added.

Viewers used the comment section to mock the outrageous demands and expressed concern about abusive relationships.

“This is not just insecure this is ABUSIVE,” user @lindsaygracerz commented.

“Uuugh this reminds me of my ex. Glad you bailed,” user @justabitalien added

“Every time I think something’s satire and realise there really are boys like this,” @hellohalal added.

In a subsequent video, Carolyn said this was the point when she realized that she “didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore – I made that very clear”.


Reply to @frankiexxleigh i didn’t want to get into too much detail :) but is a short summary ❤️ please talk to somebody if you need to!!

♬ original sound - Carolyn

“I did notify his parents that I said that, and that any responsibility would now fall on them because I made them aware. And then I did block him on absolutely everything. I do not stand for anybody to be mentally abused, physically abused ... it is never okay,” she told her viewers in a follow-up video.


@orange.magic made a stitch that is super super informational, pls go watch it !!

♬ original sound - Carolyn

“There [are] so many resources available, please do not stay in a situation that you do not want to be in, that you should not be in, you all deserve so much better than that ... there [are] so many resources available, please utilise them,” she added.

As of Thursday, the video had garnered 3.4 million views, but it now appears to have been made private or removed from the platform.

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