Woman defended for refusing to give her designer purse to sister-in-law for wedding

The woman called the bag the ‘most expensive thing’ she owns

Amber Raiken
New York
Wednesday 08 May 2024 18:36 BST
Related: Wedding cat mishap: feline interrupts gift exchange

A woman has been defended for refusing to give her designer purse to her sister-in-law for a wedding.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman asked if she was in the wrong for refusing to let her sister-in-law, Amy, use the bag on her wedding day. The Reddit user specified that she got a Chanel bag as a college graduation gift from her parents, before noting that the purse was “the most expensive thing” she owns.

She then explained how her brother’s significant other wanted to borrow the purse for herself. “My brother recently got married, and his new wife Amy asked if she could borrow my Chanel purse for their wedding day photos and reception,” she wrote. “Amy doesn’t own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look.”

The woman acknowledged that she “politely declined to lend [Amy] the purse,” due to how meaningful it is to the Reddit user. However, Amy was quite upset that she couldn’t borrow the bag.

“That purse is extremely valuable to me, and the thought of something happening to it makes me anxious. Amy called me selfish and materialistic for not lending it to her for the wedding. She said I was more concerned about a status symbol than helping my family,” she continued.

She added that her parents and brother got upset at her, so they made claims that she “should be willing to share [her] things with family”. However, the Reddit user didn’t necessarily agree.

“But I don’t think I should have to hand over my most prized possession just because it’s for a wedding. Now the whole family is angry with me,” she added. She also claimed that her sister-in-law acted like her “big day” was “ruined” because of the situation, before once again expressing that Amy’s request “was unreasonable”.

The post has gone viral on Reddit, with more than 5,600 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the Reddit user for wanting to keep her purse safe, while also questioning why her sister-in-law needed the bag for her photos in the first place.

“I’ve also never seen a bride toting around a purse at her wedding, nor getting her purse in the wedding photos. Is this an actual thing?” one Reddit user wrote.

“I’ve never seen a bride carrying a purse, seems like a weird way to complete her look. It doesn’t matter though, because it’s yours and you don’t have to lend it to anyone for any reason,” another agreed.

A third person responded: “I bought my wife a Chanel handbag for her 40th birthday. She looks after it so well that it still looks brand new. She would be devastated if it got damaged in any way. You just can’t risk that someone will look after it the same as you.”

Other people went on to criticise both Amy and the woman’s family for how they reacted after learning that the bride couldn’t borrow the purse.

“I find it funny that she called you materialistic for not lending her the purse. Yet she needed the purse to complete her outfit. And the only reason she wanted your purse was because it was expensive and designer. So in other words, she’s mad that you wouldn’t let her be materialistic with your items,” one wrote. “She wanted the purse because it was the nicest thing. She knew that was close to her and she was going to assume that just because they’re family, you would say yes.”

“If your brother and your parents honestly believed that it was so important for her to have a Chanel bag on her big day, they could have purchased a Chanel bag for her. Instead, they cheaped out and blamed you,” another added.

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