Women should not 'micro-manage' husbands by leaving to-do lists at home, top girls' school headmistress claims

Domestic responsibilities 'should be a shared thing'

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A headmistress at a leading girls’ school has said that too many women “infantilise” their husbands by leaving to-do lists around the house when they go away.

Vicky Bingham is the head teacher at South Hampstead High School in London and has criticised mothers for “micro-managing” domestic responsibilities in the home, arguing that it perpetuates the myth that their husbands are incapable of carrying out these tasks themselves.

“I have known friends leave instructions for their husbands on ‘looking after the children’ when they have been away on business.

“I have listened to them lament apparently having to micro-manage decisions about coats, socks, carrot batons, baths and homework, on top of very demanding jobs,” she told the Evening Standard.

Managing duties in the home and remembering key family dates should be a shared responsibility, rather than falling on the mother alone, particularly if she has a full-time job, the headmistress added.

Bingham, who is married with a nine-year-old daughter, also explained that leaving endless instructions for supposedly incapable husbands gives daughters - and her young students - the wrong impression that domestic prowess is a sign of female pride and a badge of “professional and maternal honour”.

The £18,000-a-year school is part of the Girls’ Day School Trust and last year ditched report grades for organisation because Bingham believed it implied to students that perfectly-organised notes were the key to academic success.

Explaining her decision and overall ethos for the school, Bingham said she wanted her students to abolish preconceived notions of perfection, adding that while they mustn't become lethargic with their studies by taking shortcuts, championing female autonomy should remain a priority.

Her comments have been well-received online, with men and women praising the headmistress for advocating gender equality in the home.

"Bang on Vicky Bingham. Men are held back by the requirement to be perfect," wrote one person on Twitter.

"It's great to have space to be dads rather than substitute mums."

"Definitely made me think about needing to let my husband just get on with it more," added another.

"Great to hear @VickyBingham is teaching her young women to relax and share the load."