Football: Sidelines - Ten things that Aston Villa's Tobagan Dwight Yorke might be missing today

1 Lazy days in Scarborough. Unlike its English namesake, Tobago's capital is warm and friendly.

2 Bizarre Christmas news stories. The Trinidad Express this week told of a street vendor whose patter consists solely of: "Call me Rodney. I is the man who selling curtain rod."

3 Mayhem of a high order. Opposition leader Patrick Manning said this week that fiscal policies were "total quality chaos". Like Villa performances then, but with quality.

4 Jug-jug. Cornflour, peas and salted meat.

5 Calypso, steel pan, ska and reggae.

6 Obeah - black magic.

7 The chaconia flower, symbol of imperishability. (Not something Yorke's fitness has experienced very much of late.)

8 The islands' new maximum security prison, which seeks to keep people of a mad and dangerous nature secure. As opposed to Villa Park, which encourages them to come out in public.

9 Hurricane shelters made of thin wood. As useful as Stan Collymore.

10 Pleasant accents.