Blake Lavak: Meet the dating guru who pans slut-shaming and advocates having sex on the first date

His book aims to empower women, he says, no matter what reactionaries and Phillip Schofield might think

Blake Lavak busts the taboo that women shouldn't have sex on the first date - and says it could help form the basis of a long-term relationship (Rex Features)

Blake Lavak has been criticised for telling women to 'play it hot from day one' in his new dating book. But his method - which he says helped Angelina Jolie to date Brad Pitt - is more emancipating than it might sound.

After appearing on This Morning to promote his book, Lavak found himself being criticised for appearing to pressure women into bed. In Own that Guy in 60 Days: A Practical Guide to Love for the 21st Century Woman, Lavak says that having sex early in a relationship can pay dividends for women. Instead of making her look desperate, he argues that is can form the basis for long-term love.

Viewers were quick to judge on Twitter, with many labelling him a "douche" (or worse) and saying they were "stunned" to hear his views. This Morning's relationships expert Denise Robertson said a good relationship didn't hinge on a woman "controlling" a man, but on honesty.

However, Lavak tells The Independent that his dating advice is designed to empower women. Arguing that confidence is more important than good looks, he urges women to take charge of their love lives, and not wait for men to chase them.

"In my experience, the impact that [sex on the first date] makes on the guy is enormous," Lavak says. "It's usually long-lasting and in many cases it leads to chemistry and love and marriage."

Clarifying his dating method, Lavak recommends that women make the first move, but only if they want to. "Being at a party and doing it the old-fashioned way means waiting for guys to come up and make contact," he says. "A woman's going to be able pick and choose only between the pool of guys who come up to her."

"The girls in my book are active and don’t just have to choose between the guys that come up to them – if they see a guy in the room that they are genuinely attracted to, then they go up to the guy and introduce themselves and get the ball rolling themselves," Lavak said. "So the girl is pretty much taking charge the whole time. After introducing herself and making conversation, they could go on a date if she chooses. You don’t have to have sex on that date, but if she’s in the mood, but it could go that way."

Responding to the idea that his technique is a man-pleasing exercise, Lavak said it is, but it's also to please women. "It’s silly to say: 'I’m going to deny the man pleasure' because then he’s going to go off with someone who is going to give him pleasure," he says.

Lavak tells The Independent that women should never feel pressured into having sex.

Tackling the issue of slut-shaming, Lavak believes that people shouldn't be judgemental when it comes to how many people women "should" sleep with. "Slut-shaming seems like a very old-fashioned concept to me. It’s 2015, most grown-ups realise that men and women have urges and impulses and it’s all very natural. We don’t live in Saudi Arabia."

The 53-year-old New Yorker adds: "Also, I would ask, at which point does a woman become a slut? How many men does she have to have sleep with? Someone’s grandma might say: ‘I’ve only slept with one man my entire life’ and think that having more than one lover makes you a slut."

"You then also see TV shows about young women going on holiday to hot spots in the Mediterranean and they get wasted and almost brag about having three guys a night – who am I to judge?"

Lavak says that his internet backlash was based on a kneejerk reaction. Admitting that his method might sound a bit out-there at first glance, he tells his trolls: "It might be wise to take the time to look into it properly rather than jumping to conclusions with incomplete information."

He added: "The sex thing is only part of it, I don’t believe you can have a relationship based on sex."

Lavak got divorced eight years ago after being married for 15 years. After his divorce, Lavak said he met lots of "lovely girls" but didn't find a connection with the ones who wanted to be chased. "I ventured into the world of singledom from almost the first time in my life," he says, "and I feel sorry for girls who who are desperate for a nice guy who are following rules."