Comedian Beth Stelling shares graphic images in post about surviving 'abusive relationship'

'It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.'

Matt Payton@paytesy89
Tuesday 29 December 2015 14:28
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A stand-up comedian has spoken out about the physical abuse and rape she suffered at the hands of an ex-boyfriend.

Beth Stelling posted the below set of pictures on Instagram along with an explanation where the bruises on her arms and legs came from.

Despite experiencing professional success this year with a Comedy Central special and stand-up album, Ms Stelling wanted to reveal of the domestic abuse she recieved at the hands of her former boyfriend.

She wrote: "It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple."

Having already made comments on stage about her abuse, she wanted to share her experiences with other rape and abuse victims:

 

A photo posted by Beth Stelling (@bethstelling) on

"Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.

"An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that.

"There are more stories out there from men & women and they don't all involve getting raped by a stranger in an alley. Many are crapes (the coziest kind) in the comfort of your own bed."

 

Photo by @mandeephoto Styling: @mellovesrys Makeup: @lekmakeup Art Direction: @frcmajeure

A photo posted by Beth Stelling (@bethstelling) on

Here is her full description, split over two Instagram posts due to character limits:

"Same girl in all of these photos (me). I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional.

"When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it’s not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.

"After I broke up with him he said, “You’re very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you’re talking about.” And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn’t want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family.

"I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I’ve always been; I make dark, funny.

"So now I’m allowing this to be part of my story. It’s not my only story, so please don’t let it be. If you live in L.A., you’ve already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying.

"Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.

"An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that shatterd my belief that I was an exception.

 

A photo posted by Beth Stelling (@bethstelling) on

"I am not alone; unfortunately I'm in a line of smart, funny women who experienced this from the same man in our L.A. comedy community.

"I couldn't stay in our relationship waiting for it to happen again & I won't keep it a secret any longer so that a future woman has a fair chance of avoiding it.

"I don't have all the answers. I'm doing my best to work through this. There are more stories out there from men & women and they don't all involve getting raped by a stranger in an alley. Many are crapes (the coziest kind) in the comfort of your own bed."

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