Never afraid to embrace the big issues of the day, High Street Ken sprang into action on behalf of his old mate Gavin Henson, after the occasional rugby player announced he was once again ready for romance.
Fresh from his efforts on Strictly Come Dancing, the Welshman admitted that love had been thin on the ground since his split from the ex-angelic Charlotte Church. Luckily, this coincided with my being emailed Wales' Sexiest Rugby Wags – Past and Present, which I suspected could at least be an initial port of call.
On closer inspection, however, I was forced to conclude this was one list Gav should probably avoid – what with all of them currently being attached to his Wales teammates. Apart from Charlotte of course, who still came an encouraging second.
* Having spent last Friday night in a local hostelry ridiculing Shane Warne for "wasting his time constantly bothering Liz Hurley on Twitter," subsequent revelations that they they are in fact an item confirmed the feeling that High Street Ken's instincts for a celebrity scoop remain as sharp as ever.
Still, "Warney's" surprisingly successful wooing of one of our foremost English roses could at least provide advantageous publicity to one of the erstwhile Test spinner's employers. The Australian has long been the face of a hair restorer firm after fears for his own thinning barnet began to escalate back in 2005. Under the slogan "Advanced Hair, Yeah, Yeah", the retired bowler has been proudly championing the said product ever since – despite the occasional brush with advertising watchdogs.
* Meanwhile, it's disappointing to note that Boris Johnson's younger brother Jo, these days the Tory MP for Orpington, has found himself the victim of an unfortunate piece of tittle-tattle over in cyberspace. Yesterday it was being claimed that on seeing the Speaker's fragrant wife Sally Bercow "strut by" in the Commons, young Johnson appeared distracted, gazing at her, and I quote, "lustfully". I'm sure he'll be calling to thank me for taking the time to nip this particularly ludicrous piece of "news" in the bud here and now. Should such gossip have got out of hand, Mr Bercow might have felt the need to box his ears!
* News of an online campaign to earn national treasure Sir Cliff Richard an unlikely Christmas No 1 this month. Fans are being urged to download en masse his single "Little Town" in time for the festive charts. I have my fears: when I explained the "downloading" bit to one Auntie – an ardent Cliff fan of many years – she suddenly appeared to look blank.
* Just when I was beginning to fret about that special Christmas gift, the following invitation arrives. "You are invited to an exclusive dinner and champagne reception with Michael Winner at The Belvedere in Holland Park," I'm informed by The Times. As well as Michael's after-dinner speech, I'm assured that "guests will receive signed copies of two of his books". What's more, I get all this for just £150. Sold!
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