Former America’s Next Top Model judge Nigel Barker discusses the impact of being sexually assaulted as a child

'To this day, I can see it, feel it, hear it, smell it, you name it. It's right here with me and this is 30 years later,' Barker says

Nigel Barker (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Former America’s Next Top Model judge Nigel Barker has discussed the impact being sexually assaulted at eight-years-old had on his life.

Speaking candidly as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month on his Gentleman’s Code radio show on SiriusXM, Barker said the attack, which he managed to fend off after the attacker pulled his trousers down, has affected his entire life.

The fashion photographer, who was born and grew up in London, said the assault happened when he was walking the mile and a half journey to school at eight-years-old. After he guided the approximately 40-year-old man to what he thought was his destination, he was pushed into an apartment block by the man .

“He pushed me from behind, jolted me through the doors and I fell inside the doors,” the 43-year-old explained. “The door closed and I’m now trapped between a stairwell inside and a shut door. I have a man, who was much bigger than me, push me to the ground, grab me and pull my trousers and pants down. I’m now exposed and screaming and thrashing.”

Barker said he “luckily” managed to escape the attack by kicking him and running away, however, didn’t tell a family member about what had happened to him for several years.

“Here’s the thing. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t tell my parents, I didn’t tell my brothers. I told no one. I was humiliated, I was scared, I was worried. I thought I had done the wrong thing, I thought I had done the bad thing. And it was something that stuck with me for a very, very long time and it was actually only when another member of my family discussed actually being assaulted that all of a sudden that I came out and was like ‘well it happened to me too.’ At which point people were like ‘well, what are you talking about?’ and this was about three years later but it had never left my mind,” he explained.

Barker discussed the effect the attack has on him after the many years which has passed, but explained he is speaking out to reduce the stigma around sexual assault, especially that surrounding men who may be sexual assault survivors.

“To this day, I can see it, feel it, hear it, smell it, you name it. It’s right here with me and this is 30 years later,” he said. “We have to be more open, we have to talk to our kids. We have to allow men, women, children, everyone to be much more open about life, relationships, about speaking up and realising that you’re not guilty if something like this happens to you. That you, of course, have been a victim and it’s important to speak out.”

Barker is most recognisable from being a judge on Tyra Banks’ reality show America’s Next Top Model for 17 seasons and most recently alongside Naomi Campbell on The Face. Prior to this, he was a model himself, later becoming an esteemed fashion photographer shooting the likes of Iman Abdulmajid and Taylor Swift.