Michelle Rodriguez felt 'jealousy' after Paul Walker died because 'he's there first'

The actress and Walker were close friends before his death in 2013 

Heather Saul
Tuesday 05 April 2016 14:33 BST
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Rodriguez highlighted the difficulties faced by lesbian, bisexual and gay people living in the public eye
Rodriguez highlighted the difficulties faced by lesbian, bisexual and gay people living in the public eye

Michelle Rodriguez has admitted she felt “jealousy” after the death of Paul Walker in a candid conversation about coping with grief.

The actress worked with Walker on The Fast and Furious franchise until he was killed in 2013 when the Porsche Carrera GT he was a passenger in hit a pole in California. The driver, his friend Roger Rodas, also died when the vehicle burst into flames. Walker’s teenage daughter Meadow is now the sole heir of his estate.

In an interview for the documentary The Reality of Truth, Rodriguez described her feelings about his death after apparently drinking Ayahuasca, which is made from a plant and has psychedelic properties.

“I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being like an animal," she said. "Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism? Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we just come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that? Summer - crazy - nuts. I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I'll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here. It wasn't a sadness that he's gone, it's more like a jealousy that he's there first.”

Walker's fellow co-star Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has previously described how the death triggered depression, which he has suffered from in the past. “I didn't want to do a thing,” he told The Hollywood Reporter in 2014. “I didn't want to go anywhere. I was crying constantly. Eventually, you reach a point where you are all cried out. I didn't know what it was.

“I didn't know why I didn't want to do anything. I had never experienced anything like that.”

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