Pandora: David Irving turns tour guide

David Irving, pictured here in the wake of his conviction for Holocaust denial, is the subject of a recent film starring Timothy Spall (Getty)

He's done jailbird, and he's done author. Now, it appears that the ever-sinister David Irving is attempting life as a tour guide. The discredited historian, who once denied that Auschwitz existed to murder Jews, is offering punters the chance to take a guided tour of "Hitler's Headquarters and other historical sites". For $2,900 (£1,900), says a brochure for the trip, tourists will be given a tour of wartime headquarters, including the notorious "Wolf's Lair" in what is now Poland, and a visit to Treblinka death camp. Whether anyone will take the tour remains to be seen; Irving declined to tell Pandora of any interest. Even more curious is Irving's decision to use a quote from Mr Justice Gray's ruling at the Irving vs Lipstadt trial in order to sell the idea. Mr Justice Gray ruled that Irving had "manipulated historical evidence"; Irving, though, cites a rather more positive version of the ruling, quoting Mr Justice Gray on his website as claiming that his "knowledge of World War Two is unparalleled".

Cherie: no Tories allowed

Overheard at the Mailcoach, a Swindon gay bar where Cherie Blair arrived to campaign for the local candidate Ann Snelgrove: Mrs Blair discussing her children's romantic restrictions.

"With their boyfriends and girlfriends, all my children know they can bring home whoever they like," she told fellow activists. "But if they brought home a Tory supporter, that would be it!" Naturally.

* Cliff Richard isn't taking any chances when it comes to shoring up his pension. The aging balladeer is offering the more devoted among his fans the chance to celebrate his birthday by buying a bottle of sparkling rosé from his Portuguese winery. A spokesman claims they have already received several pre-orders. Whodunnit?

* Mutiny in Hampstead, where the right-on lawyer Philippe Sands, a Matrix Chambers colleague of Cherie Blair, has written to neighbours imploring them to vote Lib Dem. Not everyone agrees. Alongside Sands' posters trumpeting Liberal candidate Ed Fordham sit several supporting Labour's candidate, Glenda Jackson. Sands' 15-year-old son is, apparently, a fan.

Will Clegg be a bestseller?

Cleggmania has, it appears, hit the publishing world. Conservative blogger Iain Dale's publishing company, BiteBack, is said to be looking for an author for a biography of the Lib Dem leader and it sounds like they're far from alone. "Anyone who could get a book out by Christmas would get reasonable sales," says our man at the printers. "Plus with euro royals, international bankers, and a market barrowboy for ancestors, it's a good story."

pandora@independent.co.uk