My Secret Life: Jeremy Kyle, chat show host, 44

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My parents were ... everything to me. They sacrificed so much for my education and together they showed me each and every day what it takes to be a proper, respectful and decent human being.

The house I grew up in ... was number 163 St Saviour's Road in Coley Park, Reading. I was actually born in the front bedroom while my dad sat on the wall outside, feeling sick. Twenty minutes after my mother gave birth, she went downstairs and made my old man a cup of tea.

When I was a child I wanted to be ... as effortlessly talented as my brother and free of the crippling shyness that enveloped me during my early years at school.

If I could change one thing about myself ... I would try to make myself more erudite. I'm an intelligent man but I don't feel I articulate or get that across nearly enough, especially in social situations.

You wouldn't know it but I'm very good at ... golf, and taking a good telling off.

You may not know it but I'm no good at ... wearing underwear. I can't bear it and have done without it for 20 years.

At night I dream of ... the moment when my three young kids will finally sleep through the night.

What I see when I look in the mirror ... A sea of broken teeth that resemble a bag of smashed crockery.

My favourite item of clothing ... is a blue Dolce & Gabbana overcoat.

I drive ... When I'm at home, a Mini. It is ideal to get myself in and out of London, and perfect for nipping about anywhere else around where I live.

My house is ... my sanctuary, despite it frequently being full of all manner of madness: three beautiful, screaming children chief among them.

My favourite work of art ... I have a painting in my study of Ascot Racecourse, bought for me by my wife. I can stare at that for hours, frequently to the detriment of the work I should actually be doing in there.

My favourite building ... is Buckingham Palace. Driving up The Mall and seeing that place loom large in the distance; I love it as architecture, and as a symbol for our nation.

A book that changed me was ... 'The Ofcom Broadcasting Code'.

Movie heaven ... Any rom-com, provided my wife is there with a tub of Haagen-Dazs. No man points scored there.

The last album I bought ... was Blondie's 'Parallel Lines', in 1978. I even had her on my wall back then. Nowadays, downloading albums and even the most basic functions of PC literacy remain way beyond me.

My secret crush ... Back in the day it was Pamela Ewing, aka Victoria Principal, from 'Dallas': the perfect body, even before the advent of plastic surgery.

My greatest regret ... is my golf swing. And my height. And the size of my ears. And nose...

My real-life villain ... is the tax man.

The last time I cried ... was whenever 'Dance With My Father' by Luther Vandross last came on the radio. Follow that with Bette Midler's 'Hero' and I'm stuffed.

My five-year plan ... is to hopefully still be working, and if that is not possible, to have got out on my own terms.

What's the point? Survival. Beyond that, enjoyment – and not wasting a single moment – of life.My life in six words ... Carla, Hatty, Alice, Ava, Henry Kyle.

A life in brief

Born on 7 July, 1965 in Reading, Jeremy Kyle started his broadcasting career on local radio, before making his name in 2005 as the controversial host of ITV's The Jeremy Kyle Show. He is married for the second time to the former model, Carla Germaine, and the couple have three children together. Jeremy's latest book, You Couldn't Make It Up, is published by Hodder and Stoughton, £16.99