The 5-minute Interview: Joan Rivers, actress, comedienne and performer

'I wish people would take more notice of my amazing breasts'

Brooklyn-born Rivers, 74, has been an entertainerfor 40 years, starting her career on NBC's 'Tonight Show' and going on to write and star in a host of productions, including her chat shows. She won an Emmy Award as best talk-show host in 1990. On Sunday, she will appear on the shopping channel QVC to name its "search for a presenter" competition winner.

I wish people would take more notice of...

My amazing breasts. Never mind the ankle bracelet, you need to look at the two things next to it.

A phrase I use too often is...

"Get me an interview with The Independent or you are fired."

If I weren't talking to you right now I would be...

Cat-napping.

The most surprising thing that happened to me...

Was when I had a baby nine months after my husband tripped and fell on top of me.

I'm good at...

Answering questions.

I'm very bad at...

Spelling.

A common misperception of me is...

That I'm getting old.

I am not a politician but...

I enjoy stealing public funds as much as the next guy.

The ideal night out is...

Me at a busy intersection with a whole lot of Johns in very slow-moving cars.

In moments of weakness I...

Pass out.

You know me as a comedienne but in another life I'd have been...

Siamese twin comedians who were joined at the head.

The best age to be is...

Some time in the Iron Age. I just love beautifully forged tools.