Royal baby: First images of Duchess Kate travelling by donkey to give birth

The Cambridges travelled by moonlight to reach the Lindo inn

And low, she doth descended from the humble surrounds of Kensington Palace to the kind keepers at St Mary’s Lindo inn, where she was kindly offered a 10 per cent loyalty discount for giving birth in the same place twice.

Accompanying her with a small puppy in tow was the meek and mild Prince George, who had cometh unto the world a mere two years before.

She rode into the Wing on a donkey, and was visited by Three Wise Men, each bearing gifts. Prince Charles, Princes William and Prince Phillip. Prince Harry had cunningly avoided the spectacle by dashing back to Australia.

Of course, none of this is true. And now six days overdue, she’s probably holed up in regal surrounds eating curry and walking everywhere sideways. But that didn’t stop one Turkish satirist, Kaya Mar, from telling his own version of events in artistic form.

His latest work shows a resplendent and heavily pregnant Duchess of Cambridge as a saint; a representation, he says, of the adoration of the royal family by British society (or at least those moved by pastries currently camped outside the Lindo Wing). The donkey is apparently symbolic of those who follow the royal masses.

Kaya has painted the Duchess once before, when she was pregnant with Prince George in 2013.

Sadly for the donkeys among us, there is, as of yet, no further news on the new arrival. Although many were fooled by this false tweet, seemingly sent from the Kensington Palace account, that suggested a Princess Charlotte had arrived.

She hadn't.