Disabled grandmother ‘couldn’t afford to put the heating on’ after paying for children’s funerals

‘You can’t afford to live in this country and you certainly can’t afford to die,’ Carole Collins said

Carole Collins (top) with her daughter Nicky Wren (left) and Wayne Eastman on the right (Supplied)

A disabled grandmother who lost two of her children in the space of two years “couldn’t afford to put the heating on” after paying thousands in funeral bills.

Carole Collins says she had sleepless nights and struggled to eat as the burden of funeral costs suffocated her grief.

The 62-year-old from Andover lost her son, Wayne Eastman, after he took his own life on 20 May 2018. Despite only being able to afford the “bare minimum” for his funeral, the cost still racked up to approximately £4,500.

“When my son died at the age of 33, it was so unexpected. We didn’t have any money to put towards his funeral, so we set up a GoFundMe page, but that only raised around £200,” Ms Collins told The Independent.

Have you been affected by this? Email maryam.zakir-hussain@independent.co.uk

As a recipient of benefits, Ms Collins received around £1,000 from the government towards her son’s service but had to pay the rest herself.

She suffered another devastating loss when her daughter, Nicky Wren, passed away just two years later on 16 May 2020 following a long battle with cancer.

Ms Wren left behind three children when she passed away in 2020 (Supplied)

The grieving mother was left to take on the emotional and financial responsibilities of the 39-year-old’s three children and pets, as well as pay for her funeral.

The costs came to just under £3,898, excluding extra for a burial plot and headstone.

Ms Collins received around £1,000 towards the funeral from the government but she was still left to pay the remainder out of her own pocket, and after taking on her daughter’s children, this caused her significant financial stress.

“If it was just myself, I could live off a bit of toast and coffee,” she said. “But because of the kids, I couldn’t cut back on groceries.

“You don’t sleep at night when you have money worries. Everyone kept telling me I’d lost weight. I couldn’t bring myself to eat a thing.”

The siblings passed away just two years apart (Supplied )

It comes as the cost of dying reaches a record high in the UK, with one in five families experiencing “notable financial concerns” when paying for a funeral, according to SunLife’s Cost of Dying report for 2024.

Ms Collins said after her daughter’s funeral, it took her around 12 months to get on top of her finances.

“All the bills were out of the window: credit card debts, council tax, loan companies,” she said. “I couldn’t afford to put the heating on through the winter.

“I had to go onto an IVA [individual voluntary arrangement] because I had no choice. It was like robbing Peter to pay Paul all the time. You can’t afford to live in this country and you certainly can’t afford to die.”

Ms Collins with her daughter, who passed away aged just 39 (Supplied )

Mr Eastman took his own life in 2018 (Supplied )

It has been almost four years since Nicky passed away, and Ms Collins is still paying off costs built up from her funeral.

“Once one thing starts crumbling, the rest is like dominoes,” she said.

According to SunLife’s report looking at the growing expenses for the bereaved, the average cost has soared to £9,658. This figure, which includes the price of a funeral, professional fees and other send-off costs, is the highest in the 20 years SunLife has been tracking them.

The latest report shows a basic funeral in the UK, which includes a burial or cremation, all funeral director fees, a mid-range coffin, one funeral limousine, as well as doctor and celebrant fees, has increased to £4,141 from £3,953 last year.

If you need to speak to someone, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.