The Dad whose hand rocks the cradle keeps his family together

Conscientious fathers are less likely to divorce, a new survey suggests. By Hester Lacey

Fathers who roll up their sleeves and get to grips with bottles, cots and teddies are doing themselves, as well their offspring, a favour.

New research shows that families in which fathers throw themselves into looking after their children enjoy lower divorce rates and fewer separations.

The findings are to be published later this month in Fatherhood Reclaimed, a new book on modern fatherhood by the social researcher Adrienne Burgess. Ms Burgess, a research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research, compared international social research and data, and interviewed fathers from across the social spectrum.

Her book will also challenge the notion of the modern feckless father, suggesting that in fact he is more involved in childcare than ever before, and that he is struggling against "enormous cultural and structural barriers" to take part in family life.

John Newby, 35, would agree. He runs his own small printing firm and leaves home in the morning as his children, John, seven, and Louise, five, are getting ready for school; baby Nadia is probably sound asleep. By the time he gets home in the evening, they are all in bed.

"It puts a strain on our marriage, because my wife's day is all taken up with the children and although I love them dearly, when I get home in the evening I find it really hard to focus on getting excited about Louise learning to tie her shoes. At the same time, my wife finds it hard to get excited about a big order we've had in at the office.

"It's a bit as though we're leading separate lives during the week. I just hope the weekends will keep us going until the business is on its feet."

As Ms Burgess points out, providing for children actually ties fathers even more firmly to their desks. "The five of us can't live on fresh air," says Mr Newby. "In a way I do feel that I'm letting them down, especially as my wife works part-time, too, to make ends meet, but nappies and toys and bikes and holidays have to be paid for somehow."

British men work longer hours than any others in Europe, according to EU figures - 28 per cent work more than 48 hours each week, and one in three work a six- or seven-day week. Richard Frost, 38, is one who has escaped. He has been a house-husband since 1994, and brings up Jonathan, three-and-three-quarters, and Rachel, eight months, while his wife Jane goes out to work as a teacher.

"It's very rewarding," he says. "Being involved day-to-day with your children, seeing them change and grow and develop, is wonderful. I remember when Jonathan learned to do up the buttons on his shirt. It may sound trivial, but in fact it was a really significant moment. I think we have a very strong relationship: having one parent at home gives him a very strong sense of security. I hope I will have been a good role model for him. It's physically and mentally demanding, but I am free of some of the stresses and pressures of employment: I don't have to answer to anyone."

Mr Frost is the first to admit that he is lucky to have the chance to stay home. Low mortgage payments and a sympathetic employer who has granted him a long (unpaid) career break have made it possible.

Ms Burgess, and other experts on family relationships, would like all fathers to have the same chance.

"Unlike most countries in Europe, there is no statutory paternity or parental leave provision here," says Jo Hookes of the parents pressure group Parents At Work. "Men as fathers are virtually invisible in the workplace."

A recent survey carried out by Parents At Work found that two-thirds of parents feel they do not spend enough time with their children, and while around 25 per cent of employers offer schemes such as term-time working, part-time working and flexi-time, these are in the main aimed at mothers.

Ms Burgess has already proposed sweeping changes in the options that are open to fathers. In her keynote speech for the IPPR last year, she suggested the conferring of parental rights and responsibilities on married and unmarried fathers alike; paternity and parental leave to be a statutory right in Britain; the development of a Fathers' Research Centre to identify and meet fathers' needs; and encouragment for schools to address the specific needs of boys, as well as girls, when providing parenting education.

"Adrienne Burgess's book makes it clear that she understands how difficult it is for fathers, how much the odds are stacked against them," says a spokeswoman for Families Need Fathers, a group that supports the provision of childcare by both parents.

She relates the story of a group member whose wife left him. "He couldn't understand why. He had provided a beautiful home and everything she and his little boy could possibly want. She went off to live with another man with no money at all, but who was home all the time and spent time with her and the child. The father now sees more of his little boy than he ever did before, but of course it's too late."