Ed Miliband finally tops a poll - as the butt of the funniest Christmas cracker joke

He easily beats a poor joke about Jeremy Corbyn in the competition designed to update Britain's poor Christmas cracker gags 

Matt Dathan
Online political reporter
Tuesday 15 December 2015 09:57
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Former leader Ed Miliband was seen by key voters as 'weak and bumbling'
Former leader Ed Miliband was seen by key voters as 'weak and bumbling'

It may have taken all year but Ed Miliband has finally topped a poll.

The former Labour leader was humiliated in May when he led the party to its worst defeat in more than 30 years but at least he's putting a smile on people's faces by being the butt of the funniest Christmas cracker joke.

A poll of 2,000 people to find the best gags about 2015 current affairs in this year's Christmas crackers saw Miliband beat off competition from Jeremy Clarkson, his successor as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and the VW emissions scandal.

The winning question was: Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10.

The best Corbyn joke (Why doesn't anyone trust Jeremy Corbyn to put up the Christmas tree? Because it always leans to the left) didn't even make the top 10.

The competition was run by UKTV's comedy channel Gold after a study found people were unsurprisingly fed up with out-of-date jokes in their Christmas crackers.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau said: "So at last Ed Miliband has won a vote this year. Maybe it's not the same as getting into Downing Street but it must be nice for him to know that he has not been forgotten by the British public."

1. Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10.

2. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping. He phoned me two days later from Brazil.

3. Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch.

4. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.

5. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.

6. Why don't Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.

7. Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.

8. Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.

9. Who's Rudolph's favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.

10. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce

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