Take a seat
Charlotte Rose, Brighton Pavilion
Sex worker Charlotte Rose stood in last year’s Rochester and Strood by-election on a platform of legalising brothels (she came 11th) and says the issue is “important for democracy”.
Get ’em young
Solomon Curtis, Wealden
The youngest candidate to emerge so far is Labour activist Solomon Curtis. Just 18, the young chap has a Tory majority of 17,000 to overturn to become the youngest MP ever.
It’s never too late
Doris Osen, Ilford North
The oldest candidate to declare, Doris Osen, 84, of Epic – Elderly Persons’ Independent Party – spent £1,000 on 30,000 fliers to voters.
The puzzling candidate
Dave Wasgij, Preston
Standing to give “piece a chance”, comedian Dave Wasgij has been captured by the jigsaw lobby and is promising free puzzles for OAPs.
Sing when you’re winning
Joe Steed, Calder Valley
Protest singer Joe Steed will provide colour at the count. He says war can be prevented through music alone.
Arthur Uther Pendragon, Salisbury
He’s stood for Parliament in five elections and believes he’s the reincarnation of the King Arthur. Apparently, the stones say this is finally his year.
The confused one
Greg Clough, Islington
An Australian married to a Greek, Ukip’s Greg Clough wants to stop immigrants using “our” NHS.
Independence for Wessex
Colin Bex, Eastleigh
Colin Bex’s mission is self-government for the ancient lands of Wessex.
The serial offender
Dave Bishop, seat TBC
Standing alternately as Elvis Loves Pets, The Church of the Militant Elvis, Lord Biro and the Bus Pass Elvis, Dave Bishop has stood since 1997. Among his policy ideas are “free neutering for cats and Boris Johnson”.
None of the above
Mark Flanagan, Leeds North West
Mark Flanagan is giving voters the option of voting for “none of the above” and thereby rejecting every other candidate.
The publicity seeker
Al Murray, South Thanet
Presumably wants a boost in sales for his next comedy DVD.
Robert Boaler, South Thanet
Robert Boaler for the Al-Zebabist Nation of Ooog party, wants to build a “great wall of Thanet” to save the area from the “elite” in Broadstairs.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies